


The Measure of Magic

by Feriku



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Deception, Dyslexia, Falling In Love, M/M, Squibs, Witches, Wizards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 40,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21634303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feriku/pseuds/Feriku
Summary: The Van Ecks are one of the oldest and proudest wizarding families to ever attend Hogwarts, but Jan Van Eck has a dark secret: his son Wylan is a Squib.When Wylan narrowly escapes his father's attempt to kill him, he falls in with a group of young witches and wizards who have no idea who he is. Claiming to be a wizard himself, Wylan finds himself with friends for the first time in his life - and maybe more than friends, if Jesper's constant flirtation means anything.But with the next year at Hogwarts quickly approaching, it's only a matter of time before Wylan's lie falls to pieces...(Six of Crows Harry Potter AU; if you aren't a Harry Potter fan, the major things you need to know are that Hogwarts is a wizarding school, Muggles are regular people without magic, and a Squib is a person without magic despite being born into a witch/wizard family.)
Relationships: Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck
Comments: 179
Kudos: 383





	1. Chapter 1

The Van Ecks were one of the oldest and proudest lines of wizarding families to ever attend Hogwarts. Every Van Eck was sorted into Ravenclaw, and their reputation and power grew with each generation.

When Wylan Van Eck was a child, his future seemed set in stone. He would attend Hogwarts when he turned eleven, be sorted into Ravenclaw like his ancestors, and grow up to be a powerful wizard like his father before him. Even after his mother died and it was just him and his father alone in the mansion, even though Wylan had yet to display any magical tendencies that should have long since surfaced, that was what he expected to happen.

Then he turned eleven.

And no letter from Hogwarts came.

Their last shred of hope that he wasn’t a Squib evaporated with the non-existent letter, and from that day on, Wylan’s life changed forever. He no longer was allowed to spend time with the other children his age. He didn’t go to events with his father anymore or even leave the house without supervision.

During school months, his father told everyone Wylan was attending a wizarding school overseas in America, while Wylan was confined to his room, staring at the same four walls around him until he thought he’d lose his mind. Around the holidays, when all the young witches and wizards came home from Hogwarts, he was allowed to go outside again, but only in his father’s company and only if he kept his mouth shut. He wasn’t permitted to speak to the other children, lest they ask him questions about the fancy American school he’d never seen.

Wylan got a brief reprieve when guests visited his father during the holidays, because then he was called downstairs to join them—as long as he didn’t say a word about his schooling—and almost felt like a member of the family again.

Then the guests would leave, and life would return to normal.

When Wylan turned fourteen, he asked his father if he could start attending a Muggle school, maybe even one that really was in America, to maintain the deception. Back when his father had researched ways to “fix” a Squib, Wylan had overheard him talking to a witch whose cousin was a Squib. She said her cousin had integrated into the Muggle world and gotten a job there. At least if Wylan went to a Muggle school, he might make friends. At least his life, even if it would never have magic, would involve more than staring at the walls of the house that had become his prison.

The beating his father gave him in response to his suggestion ensured he never brought it up again.

From there, things only got worse. For a time, Wylan had been tutored in other subjects, by teachers paid to keep their silence about his condition, but it soon became apparent that in addition to his magical deficiencies, he couldn’t read, either. Unable to make it as a wizard, he wouldn’t even make it in the Muggle world. He had no hope, his father told him, no chance of ever being anything but a burden.

He had become his father’s darkest secret, a blot on the Van Eck family’s spotless reputation.

All Wylan had left was music he wasn’t allowed to play when anyone could hear, a knack for mathematics that no one cared about, and a future that looked increasingly like an empty void, because what future could there be for someone like him?

That was why it came as such a surprise when, one day, his father offered to take him to Diagon Alley.

#

Wylan hadn’t seen Diagon Alley since he was eight years old. Eight more years had passed since then, but at sixteen, he was no less awed than when he saw it for the first time. The shops, the witches and wizards, the occasional bits of magic being performed—it all made him want to cry out in delight, although he kept himself composed.

If he made it too obvious he didn’t get to see these things on a regular basis, people would become suspicious about him, and then he’d never be allowed to come again.

Wylan glanced up at his father, who led him through the streets with an impassive expression. Maybe if he was good and this trip went off without a problem, his father would bring him again sometime. His heart skipped a beat. Maybe this was a _test_ , and if he proved he could pretend to be a wizard, he’d actually be allowed to spend time with other witches and wizards again. After all, it wouldn’t be much longer before he was supposed to graduate from his fictional American school.

He straightened his shoulders and tried to look like the other students he saw—well, more or less, since they all seemed to be having fun with their friends or showing off their magic, and he couldn’t do that.

But he could pretend. Yes, if he had to pretend for the rest of his life that he’d attended a foreign wizarding school, if he had to tell lies about a phony job while staying hidden during working hours, if he always remained a dark secret that had to be hidden to protect his father’s reputation, he would obey without complaint if it meant getting to see things like this.

His father gave no indication of where they were going, and Wylan didn’t ask. That might be part of the test.

He would be good, he would be good, he would be good.

Strange that Alys hadn’t come with them. His father’s second wife had only recently graduated Hogwarts herself, and she always told Wylan stories about how wonderful Diagon Alley was, and Hogsmeade too. Alys was a walking disaster when she wielded her wand, but she still had more magic than Wylan did. Everyone expected that her unborn child would be a great witch or wizard and probably carry on the family tradition of being sorted into Ravenclaw, although when Wylan was feeling particularly bitter, he had his doubts.

Alys didn’t understand why Wylan being a Squib was so embarrassing. That was probably why she hadn’t come with them, since his father would need to reprimand him if he did anything to give away his secret, and he rarely reprimanded Wylan where Alys could see.

Well, there would be no reprimands today. Wylan followed his father and vowed to be a perfect son—or as close as he could get, since a perfect son would have magic and be able to read.

His father stopped and turned to face him. “Wylan, I want you to do something for me.”

Wylan straightened up further and tried not to let his joy show too much. His father was actually _trusting_ him with something? Things really had changed. Maybe it was because he’d turned sixteen. “Yes, sir?”

“Take this.” His father handed him a wrapped package. “I have more errands to run, but I want you to drop off this package at a certain shop. Are you capable of doing that?”

“Yes, sir!”

“I can give you directions to the shop. Will you be able to follow them despite your”—his mouth tightened, and he waved a hand toward the various signs Wylan couldn’t read—“ _defects_?”

Wylan managed not to flinch. “I can follow directions, sir.”

Memorizing things had made his reading lessons a bit more bearable for a while, although he hadn’t been able to keep up the pretense forever. Nevertheless, it remained one of the few skills he was proud of.

“Good.” His father actually _smiled_ at him. “Don’t let me down, Wylan.”

“I won’t, sir.”

Whatever the task was, he would succeed. Wylan could barely breathe. His father hadn’t given him a genuine smile in years. Things definitely had changed.

This was probably the only chance he would get, so he’d make the most of it. He’d prove he wasn’t worthless after all.

“Carry this with you when you go.” His father handed him a small pendant in the shape of a star.

It was cold to the touch and felt strange against his hand. Wylan frowned at it. “What is this for?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions. Someone might hear you. You’re not a wizard; of course you don’t know what to do with it.”

Wylan flinched.

“Carry it in case you need it. If you run into trouble, make sure you have it in sight. Or is that too much for you to handle?”

“No, sir. I can handle it.” Wylan put the pendant around his neck.

He didn’t understand, but if his father trusted him with this task, Wylan would make him proud. He would pass the test.

He would make sure this was the start of a new life for himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Wylan’s skin prickled as he walked through the dark alleyway. This didn’t look like Diagon Alley anymore. There was a shop right over there, and if Wylan had to guess, he’d say they were buying and selling things related to the Dark Arts. He clutched the package against his chest. What sort of terrible place was this? He’d followed his father’s instructions exactly, so why had he ended up here?

But he wasn’t about to back down just because things didn’t look like he expected. That was probably what his father thought he would do, chicken out because he didn’t have magic to protect himself with. A burden on the people around him, like his father always said. Someone who could never take care of himself in their world. Well, Wylan would prove him wrong.

“You lost, boy?”

The voice made him jump. He stared at the rather scruffy looking wizard leering at him from a shop entrance. “No, I’m fine,” he said. “I’m, um, making a delivery.”

He hurried on his way as fast as he could. At least he’d be able to follow the directions in reverse once he was done. As soon as he dropped off the package, he would get out of there and back to Diagon Alley as quickly as he could.

Two more turns, and he found himself in a dark street behind a building. A wizard stood there in a black cloak, face nearly obscured by the hood.

Wylan swallowed hard and stepped forward. Almost there. Just a few more steps. “Are you Mr. Worgs? I have a package for you.”

The man turned toward him. “Let’s see it, then.”

He handed over the package and took a breath to steady himself. This wasn’t so bad. He’d gotten it done. Maybe his father would even be proud of him.

“Blue packaging,” the man said under his breath.

“Yes?” Had the man been expecting something else? “Is that a problem?”

The wizard glanced at him, but didn’t answer his question. Instead, he studied him for a moment in silence.

Wylan shifted from foot to foot. He needed it to be accepted so he could go on his way.

At last, the man opened a corner of the package and glanced inside, enough for Wylan to notice the glint of coins. The delivery was _money_? Why all the secrecy, then? Confusion made Wylan take an involuntary step back. He didn’t like being confused when he already felt out of his depth in this place. Something about this entire delivery seemed off.

The wizard nodded.

And pointed his wand straight at Wylan.

Wylan froze. “Is—is something wrong?”

“Not a thing.”

His eyes spoke murder. Wylan didn’t wait to see what spell he was going to cast. He turned around and took off in the opposite direction.

With a curse, the man raced after him.

What was going on? Was this why he’d been given the amulet? Was it supposed to protect him? He didn’t plan to wait around and find out. Wylan retraced his steps as quickly as he could, but it seemed like everyone he passed was staring at him. His heart hammered. Danger made it difficult to breathe. Somehow, he’d failed his task, but he didn’t understand why.

He didn’t care anymore, either. Even the prison of his room was better than being hunted down in a shady alley.

The brightness of Diagon Alley came as a welcome sight, and some of his anxiety faded. Wylan stepped into the light and leaned against the side of the building to compose himself. There had to be a logical explanation for what had happened.

Maybe it was _all_ part of the test, to see if he, without magic, could handle himself in danger. Yes, that was the sort of test his father might devise. He’d done worse things to try to make Wylan’s magic surface, so of course he’d want to see just how much of a burden Wylan would be. The amulet was probably to protect him in case something really went wrong.

He breathed a little easier. Things were still on track.

“—amulet shaped like a star.”

The voice from the other side of the street made Wylan freeze. His hand went to the amulet around his neck and he peeked around the corner.

Two wizards were talking. Both looked very official and very capable, the sort of men he ought to go to for protection and tell about his attacker, except something didn’t feel right. He kept as still as possible, hand still concealing the amulet.

“Since when does a kid that age smuggle things related to the Dark Arts?” one asked.

“They’re getting ‘em younger and younger,” the other said.

The first one spat on the ground. “You’re certain he’ll be coming this way?”

“It was Jan Van Eck himself who witnessed him. He recognized the amulet for what it was and overheard him talking about his route.”

“Van Eck? If Mr. Van Eck says so, then that’s good enough for me.”

Wylan shrank back into the shadows as the two men split up and began searching the street. Searching… for a boy smuggling a Dark Arts artefact in the form of a star amulet, as reported to them by Jan Van Eck.

But that meant…

No, it couldn’t be…

His thoughts raced, but no matter how much he wanted to come to a different conclusion, only one thing made sense. His father had set him up.

He’d insisted he wear the amulet and refused to explain what it was. Then he sent him straight to a wizard prepared to kill the boy who made the delivery. Wylan was supposed to die in that alleyway, and as insurance if he somehow escaped his killer, he’d be caught as a Dark Wizard. Maybe the plan was for him to be killed then, too, or maybe his father had some other plan to silence him if he tried to tell them who he was. It hardly mattered.

His father had tried to kill him.

His _father_ had tried to _kill_ him.

Wylan tore off the amulet, and felt a little better with it in his hand. But it wasn’t good enough to just throw it somewhere. They might be able to trace it back to him, and anyway, his father would know the plot had failed.

The betrayal was almost too much to bear, but Wylan forced himself to think logically. As much as he was hurting, he didn’t want to die. He needed to get rid of the amulet, and he needed his father to think he was dead.

A plan began to take shape, and he ran back toward the shady place he’d come from.

There was no sign of anyone hunting for him on the main street, so he raced for the shop where he’d noticed people buying and selling Dark Arts items. He held out the star amulet. “What will you give me for this?”

The shopkeeper regarded him with a bored expression. “Aren’t you a little young?”

Wylan ignored the question and continued to hold out the amulet.

When the wizard took a closer look, his demeanor changed. “Ten Galleons.”

Was Wylan supposed to accept that or haggle for a higher price? It didn’t matter. “Done.”

From the look on the wizard’s face as he handed over the gold coins, the amulet was worth a lot more, but Wylan didn’t care. He pocketed the coins and ran out of the shop.

Straight into the wizard who had tried to kill him.

Wylan’s heart stopped, but he tried to sound calm. “I’ll pay you to pretend you did the job.”

His attacker laughed. “How about I kill you and take the money from your corpse instead?”

Well, that hadn’t gone as planned. Wylan turned and ran—not toward Diagon Alley, where he might still be incriminated, but deeper into this dark place. In the back of his mind, he thought about the wizard not questioning the fact that he’d been hired to kill Wylan, and knew with a sinking feeling his suspicions about his father were right.

He needed to get away.

But as Wylan ran, he was running out of steam, and his pursuer wasn’t letting up. Soon he found himself heading straight for a dead end.

No.

He dashed against the wall and scrabbled to find some sort of door, window, something he could climb onto, anything. There was nothing. He turned around and faced his would-be murderer.

“Nowhere left to run.” The wizard pointed his wand at him. “ _Expulso!_ ”

Wylan jumped to the side, and the spell struck the building behind him. Rubble fell down and half-buried him. He lay stunned, too dazed to move, panicking as he realized he wouldn’t be able to dodge again.

His attacker stalked toward him. “ _Ex_ —”

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ”

The wizard’s wand flew from his hand. He turned around to face a boy who had entered the alley, a tall boy with dark skin and a wand pointing straight at him.

“What?” the boy asked with a smirk. “Not so easy when someone fights back?”

“You little—” He charged at the boy.

Before he could reach him, a dark-haired girl dropped down from the nearby wall. “ _Stupefy!_ ”

Her spell hit the wizard from behind, and he collapsed unconscious on the ground.

The boy grinned. “Thanks, Inej.”

She shook her head. “Honestly, Jesper, are you _trying_ to get killed? Picking a fight in Knockturn Alley?”

“No harm done,” Jesper said. He crouched beside the unconscious wizard and pointed his wand at him. “ _Obliviate._ ” Then he straightened up. “See? Won’t remember a thing.”

Another girl walked into the alley behind them and folded her arms. “He’ll still wonder why he was knocked out. And besides, we aren’t even supposed to be here.”

Jesper held up his hands. “I had to do something—he looked like he was going to kill the kid!”

The two girls looked at each other, then at Jesper.

Then all three of them walked forward and looked down at Wylan, still half-buried under the rubble.


	3. Chapter 3

Wylan stared at shock at the three teenagers looking down at him.

“Who is he?” asked the lighter-haired witch. Even as she spoke, she got out her wand and began levitating debris off of Wylan to free him. “He looks like he’s around our age, but I don’t recognize him from Hogwarts.”

“Maybe he’s a Muggle!” The tall wizard sounded as though finding a Muggle in Diagon Alley would be the most exciting thing that could happen. “He could have gotten in by mistake!”

The other witch, the one who had knocked out Wylan’s attacker, shook her head. “That’s not possible, Jes. Muggles can’t get into Diagon Alley or Knockturn Alley.”

“Well he’s gotta be _someone_.”

She turned her attention to Wylan just as her friend finished freeing him. “Are you okay?”

Wylan scrambled to his feet and dusted off the remaining dirt from his clothes. “I’m okay. Thank you for helping me.”

The boy smirked. “You’re right, Nina, he’s not from Hogwarts. I’d remember someone like him.”

Was that a compliment or an insult? Either way, Wylan blushed furiously.

“So who are you?” the wizard asked. “You can’t be eleven, can you?”

Wylan laughed. “No, I’m sixteen.”

“Wait, really? Who are you, then?”

He opened his mouth to tell the familiar lie, that he was a wizard studying abroad in America, but hesitated. His father was right, he’d never be able to maintain that story while talking to someone who might actually question him about it. Besides, he was tired of repeating the story his father had invented for him—especially after what had happened today.

If he told them the truth, though… they’d probably laugh at him. They wouldn’t want a Squib hanging around with them.

“My name is Wylan. Wylan… Hendriks,” he said after a moment, taking his mother’s last name. “I was supposed to attend Hogwarts when I turned eleven, but my family wouldn’t let me go. So I ran away.”

At least telling a new lie felt better than telling someone for the thousandth time about his school in America.

“You’re a Muggle-born, then?” the boy asked.

“That’s right.”

The girl who freed him from the rubble gave him a curious look. “I didn’t know it was possible for Muggles to keep someone away from Hogwarts. Matthias’s parents tried for a while, but the school just kept hounding them until they let him go.”

Wylan rubbed the back of his neck. “We spent a lot of time hiding. My father is… very resourceful.”

The thought of how indignant his father would be if he knew these kids thought he was a wizard-hating Muggle almost made Wylan smile, until he remembered how angry his father would be if he learned Wylan was alive at all. His stomach tightened.

His other rescuer offered him a kind smile. “You’re here now, and that’s what matters. No one can keep you away from where you belong. I’m Inej Ghafa, this is Nina Zenik, and that’s Jesper Fahey.”

Jesper clapped him on the shoulder. “Now that you’ve fallen in with us, you’re in good hands.”

Wylan offered him a shy smile. He really was quite good-looking. This felt like a dream, being rescued by such a handsome wizard.

“Though I gotta say, you run away from home and immediately almost get killed in Knockturn Alley?” Jesper shook his head. “That’s some awful luck.”

Wylan shivered. Knockturn Alley, that explained it. His father must have known his death would be less noticeable if it happened there, and more easily explained as an unfortunate incident.

He looked down at his unconscious attacker. “Will he… remember me?”

“Nah,” Jesper said, “don’t worry about it. That was a Memory Charm I put on him. He won’t remember anything that happened.”

He let out a long breath. His attacker would wake up with no memory of the events, and the amulet had been sold. Since there was no way Wylan could have used a Memory Charm, his father should assume the wizard killed Wylan, sold the amulet, and then was attacked in an unrelated incident.

Unless, of course, he was thorough enough to visit that shop and ask who had sold the amulet. If he found out it was Wylan…

How could anyone escape the reach of a wizard like Jan Van Eck?

“Let’s get you out of here,” Jesper said. “Knockturn Alley is no place for a confused wizardling. We’ll take care of you.”

“Where are we going?” Wylan asked.

“We’re heading back to Diagon Alley,” Inej said. “Don’t worry, it’s a much safer place.”

He hesitated. His father was probably still in Diagon Alley, but how could he protest without explaining the reason why?

“Actually,” Nina said, “I should get going. We were supposed to meet up with Matthias soon, remember? He’ll be wondering what happened to us.”

Inej looked thoughtful. “It might do Wylan good to meet him.” She turned to Wylan. “Which would you rather? Jesper and I can show you around Diagon Alley, or we could all go to introduce you to Mathias. He’s Nina’s boyfriend, and another Muggle-born.”

“Where will we meet him?” he asked.

“A Muggle coffee shop,” she said. “Although if you think your father might find you there…”

He shook his head, grateful for a chance to get far away. “No, I’d like to go.”

“Back to normalcy, huh?” Jesper smirked. “Poor little wizardling is in over his head.”

Wylan frowned at him.

“Don’t worry,” Inej said, “everything will start making sense soon.”

“Come on,” Nina said. “Jes, if you don’t want to go—”

“Who said I didn’t want to go?” Jesper asked. “I just think Wylan ought to get used to the wizarding world sooner rather than later.”

Wylan tried to ignore the sinking feeling Jesper’s words caused. His place wasn’t in the wizarding world, and Jesper probably wouldn’t look twice at him if he knew the truth. None of them would.

Still, as they headed out of Knockturn Alley together and argued over the best way to handle a teenage wizard who had just entered their world for the same time, Wylan stayed close to them, alert for any sign of his father.

After a moment, Jesper dropped back to walk alongside him and put a companionable arm around his shoulders. “Don’t worry,” he said with another smirk. “I’ll take care of you.”

Wylan smiled in spite of himself. Maybe the other boy didn’t dislike him after all.

#

Soon the four of them were sitting in the coffee shop, and Wylan couldn’t help but marvel at his luck. Inej had bought him a cup of coffee—he wanted to pay her for it, but couldn’t figure out a way to reconcile the wizard money he had from selling the amulet with his cover story—and they were sitting around the table together like… like friends.

He might still run into trouble once Matthias showed up, if they expected them to talk about Muggle things together, but he’d deal with that when it happened.

“It’s so cool that you got away from your family after all this time,” Jesper said. “I wonder what will happen when you get to Hogwarts. I’ve never heard of a case like this before.”

Jesper was sitting right alongside him in the booth, a little closer than he actually had to, but Wylan wasn’t going to pretend he minded.

“He has to be a first year,” Nina said. “He hasn’t been taught at all.”

“Who ever heard of a sixteen-year-old first year?” Jesper asked.

Wylan blushed and sank a little lower in his chair. It wasn’t going to feel good when they found out he would never attend Hogwarts.

“Did you pick up a stray?”

He lifted his head as a large blond boy walked toward their table.

Nina jumped up. “Matthias, this is Wylan. He’s a Muggle-born, like you, except his family actually managed to keep him away from Hogwarts all this time.”

Matthias held out his hand, and Wylan nervously stood up to accept his handshake. He didn’t like feeling small, and between Jesper and now Matthias, he was starting to feel downright tiny.

“It seems impossible they wouldn’t find you and get you to Hogwarts,” Matthias said with a frown.

Wylan tried to force back memories of his father looming over him. “Resourceful father,” he muttered. “He’s rich.”

“I see.”

“Is there enough room for you?” Nina asked. “Should I borrow a chair from one of those tables?”

He cringed. He hadn’t realized he’d taken Matthias’s seat by joining them. He edged out of the booth and past the other boy. “Sorry, I’ll just, uh, stand.”

Matthias rounded on him suddenly, and Wylan instinctively fell back with his hands up to shield his face, only to realize a second later that Matthias had just been trying to usher him back into his vacated seat.

Now all four of them were staring at him. His face heated.

“Were things rough at home?” Inej asked gently.

Humiliated, he managed a weak nod.

Jesper rose and put his hand on Wylan’s shoulder. “There’s plenty of room for you here. Come on, sit back down.”

Wylan obeyed, and this time Jesper’s closeness didn’t feel flirtatious so much as comforting. Inej switched sides to sit on his other side, and Matthias sat down with Nina, which gave them all enough room.

He stared down at the table. He wished they’d all stop looking so worried about him.

“So,” Jesper said, with a cheerful note in his voice that sounded slightly forced, “you know anything about Hogwarts, Wylan?”

He lifted his head and nodded, grateful for the change in subject. “I’ve learned as much as I could about it.”

“Oho, we’ve got a studious little wizardling on our hands. You know the Houses?”

“Yes.” Wylan was pleased for a chance to show off, especially since his knowledge never got him anywhere at home. “Ravenclaws are smart, Gryffindors are brave, Hufflepuffs are hardworking, and Slytherins are scary.”

Nina started giggling, and Jesper broke into all-out laughter.

“What?” Wylan asked. “Isn’t that right?”

Jesper turned to Inej. “When is Kaz coming back? I _need_ to be there when Wylan meets him.”

“Be nice,” she said.

Wylan didn’t being laughed at, especially when he didn’t know why, but on the other hand, it sounded like Jesper wanted Wylan to be around long enough to be introduced to another friend. That made him warm inside. Maybe he was making progress.

“Nina and I are Gryffindors,” Inej said. “Jesper and Matthias are both Hufflepuffs.”

Jesper let out a dramatic groan. “How I got sorted into the same house as him is beyond me.”

“Especially when you rarely do your work,” Matthias said with a frown.

“You think if I put on the Sorting Hat again, they’ll put me somewhere more befitting my unique talents?”

“No.”

Wylan smiled. “I guess you can’t really sum up people just with a single trait.”

“That’s right.” Jesper slung his arm over Wylan’s shoulder. “Now you just get yourself sorted into Hufflepuff, and I’ll make it a fun time for you.”

He blushed and glanced away.

“You let the Hat sort you into whichever house is right for you,” Inej said. “It’s perfectly possible to have friendships across houses. Don’t worry about that.”

Wylan forced a smile, even though his stomach twisted. He didn’t want to talk about Hogwarts when he’d never go there. He didn’t want to think about how he used to worry he’d disappoint his father by not being in Ravenclaw, until he learned he was a greater disappointment by far.

“Do you have a place to stay yet?” Nina asked.

He shook his head. His stomach lurched further. He’d never find a room without his father finding out.

“You can stay at my place,” Jesper said. “I’m sure Da won’t mind, especially once he hears about your situation.”

“I don’t want to be a burden,” Wylan said.

The other boy laughed. “Don’t be like that. I want you to come.”

Wylan offered him a shy smile. “Okay, if you’re sure your father won’t mind.”

“It’s settled, then.”

Despite a thrill of excitement at the thought of staying with Jesper, Wylan reminded himself not to get too attached. This needed to be a temporary arrangement. As soon as he figured out a plan, he’d leave Jesper and the entire wizarding world behind forever.


	4. Chapter 4

Jesper led Wylan to a neighborhood on the outskirts of a small town that Wylan expected to be filled with other wizarding families, but to his surprise, it looked completely unmagical. He stuck close by Jesper’s side, just in case there was anyone around who might recognize him, but they seemed a world apart from where Wylan had grown up.

“Is this a Muggle neighborhood?” Wylan asked, when a car drove down the street and Jesper waved to the people inside. “Are you a Muggle-born?” Remembering his own cover story just in time, he quickly added, “too?”

“Not quite. Da is a Muggle, but Ma was a witch.”

_Was._ Wylan swallowed hard. He missed his own mother. Things might have been different if she was around.

And… Jesper’s father was a Muggle? Maybe then he wouldn’t mind if he found out the truth about Wylan. Well… Jesper’s father might not mind, but Jesper would. Even Muggle-born witches and wizards looked down on Squibs, from what Wylan had learned.

So he’d keep it a secret. He just hoped he wouldn’t reveal his lack of experience with Muggle things when he tried to fit in around here.

Jesper stopped short. “Wait, you don’t think your father will find you here, do you? If you’d be safer in a wizarding community, I’m sure Inej would—”

“No!” Not only would that be the most dangerous place for him, but Wylan had to admit he didn’t want to leave the handsome wizard’s company just yet. He wanted to get to know him better before he had to leave. “He didn’t follow me, so I don’t think he’ll look here. He might even be glad to get rid of me.”

“Okay, but if anything makes you think you’re in danger, just let me know. You’re not going back there.”

“Thanks.”

They stopped at a small house on the corner. Jesper’s smile contained a hint of nervousness. “Here we are. It’s not much, I’m afraid.”

“I don’t mind,” Wylan said.

Jesper opened the door and led him inside. They were immediately greeted by a man with reddish hair who gave Wylan a curious look.

“This is Wylan,” Jesper said. “Wylan, this is my Da.”

“It’s always nice to meet a new friend of Jesper’s,” the man said. “I’m Colm Fahey.”

Wylan fought the urge to hide behind Jesper. “It’s good to meet you, sir.”

“He’s a Muggle-born,” Jesper said, “but his family kept him away from Hogwarts for years, and now he finally ran away from home and made it to Diagon Alley.”

“I’ve never heard of that happening,” Colm said. “When Jes turned eleven, his letter from Hogwarts came right away, even though we were living here.”

“My father is rich,” Wylan mumbled, cheeks heating up. Lying like this wasn’t pleasant, and he hoped people wouldn’t press him too much about his story. “He made sure they couldn’t find me.”

There was just enough truth in that to bring to mind those horrible memories of being confined to his room, year after year. He felt like he might be sick.

“Wylan has nowhere to go,” Jesper said, “so I said he could stay with us for a while. Is that okay?”

Colm smiled, his gaze open and friendly. “Of course it is. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need, Wylan.”

“Thank you, sir,” Wylan said.

A few days, maybe a week, should be enough for him to work out a plan. After that, he would… go somewhere. He’d probably be safest trying to find a place for himself in the Muggle world, but he’d be completely on his own.

Even the thought made him feel small and insignificant.

“We don’t have a lot of space,” Colm said, “but you can sleep on the couch tonight and we’ll get you a cot tomorrow.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“And you don’t need to call me ‘sir,’” he said with another smile. “Any friend of Jesper’s is welcome here.”

Wylan blushed and looked down at the floor. This much kindness made him doubt his own plan. Did Jesper have any Muggle friends? Growing up in this neighborhood, he must have known Muggle children, and he’d have more Muggle relatives on Colm’s side of the family, too. Even if Wylan had to live apart from the magical world, maybe he could stay right _here_.

But the thought of admitting to the young wizard that he was a disappointment of a son, born without magic, kept the truth locked inside.

“Don’t worry,” Jesper said softly. “You’re safe now.”

With all his heart, Wylan wanted to believe him.

#

“You sure you want to sleep on the couch?”

Jesper’s voice made Wylan jump. He’d just finished spreading out the blankets Colm gave him. He looked up. “Where else would I sleep?”

“There’s plenty of room in my bed.”

For a moment, Wylan didn’t get what he meant, but then he blushed scarlet when he realized. “Do you always flirt with guests?”

“Only the cute ones.” Jesper ambled over to him and perched on the edge of the couch with a grin. “What if I told you it was a Hogwarts tradition to cuddle close with someone at night?”

“I’d say you’re a liar.”

“It was worth a try.”

Wylan rolled his eyes.

“You’ll have to watch out for people trying to lead you astray at Hogwarts,” Jesper said. “There are a lot of troublemakers there.”

“I think I’m talking to the biggest one right now.”

“Who, me?” Jesper asked. “Everyone at Hogwarts loves me.”

“You wish,” Wylan said.

Jesper lifted a finger to his lips and pulled out his wand. Wylan watched, curious, as he pointed it toward the ceiling and whispered something.

Sparks erupted from the end of his wand to form dazzling lights that danced in the air above Wylan. He gasped in spite of himself. This time, he didn’t have to pretend. The sight awed him as much as it would if he had never seen magic before. No one had used magic just to make him happy in nearly a decade.

“What do you think?” Jesper asked with a grin.

“Maybe people do appreciate you.”

“Appreciate? Well, at least we’re making progress.” Jesper grinned at him a moment longer, then held out his wand. “Do you want to try?”

Wylan squeaked, unable to help it. Was this normal? He didn’t know what the etiquette was for sharing wands. He’d held a wand once, years ago, due to his father’s vain hope it might get some sort of magic to manifest itself in him, but nothing had happened. If he took Jesper’s, would it be obvious he didn’t have any magic, like it was to his father on that disappointing day?

Jesper laughed. “It’s not taboo. I’m not trying to trick you into anything weird, promise.”

“B-But I don’t—” Wylan shook his head.

“You haven’t been chosen by a wand yet and you haven’t been trained, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try. If something goes wrong, I’ll take responsibility for it. Chances are nothing will happen at all, but you never know.” Despite his assurance that he wasn’t doing anything weird, a suggestive note entered his voice. “Maybe my wand will like you.”

His words made Wylan breathe a little easier. It wouldn’t be immediately apparent that he was a Squib, even if nothing happened. He hesitantly reached out. Maybe, just maybe, something _would_ happen after all. Maybe his father’s hostility and pressure had been what stopped Wylan from ever showing magic, and here under Jesper’s gentle gaze, things would be different. He closed his fingers around the wand.

Nothing happened.

It felt like a small, fragile stick in his hand, nothing more significant than that. His tiny lingering hope died. He waved the wand in the air, but it didn’t do a single thing.

“Too bad,” Jesper said as Wylan handed it back to him. “I had so many jokes planned if my wand liked you.”

Wylan laughed in spite of himself.

“It’s really not surprising that it didn’t work,” Jesper said. “Using someone else’s wand can be tricky. We’ll take you to Ollivander’s in Diagon Alley, and you’ll find the one that’s just right for you.”

But he wouldn’t. There was no wand that was right for him, because he didn’t have magic and never would.

“Let’s not,” Wylan said. “I mean, we don’t know what Hogwarts will do with someone in my situation. Maybe… maybe they’ll want me to go through a special process or pick from a specific selection of wands.”

“I can’t imagine why that would matter,” Jesper said with a shrug, “but I guess you’re right. Your situation is unusual enough that we probably should wait for you to get things sorted out with the school first.”

“When…” Wylan wet his lips and started again. “When does Hogwarts send out letters to new students?”

“I’m surprised a continuous stream of letters hasn’t been trying to reach you, but let’s see… I’d guess it should happen sometime in the summer.”

So he still had time. Not much time, maybe not more than a month, but time.

“I should let you get to sleep,” Jesper said. “Do you want to hang out with us again tomorrow?”

The invitation made Wylan warm inside. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Great. We’ll keep you safe, don’t worry.”

“Thanks,” Wylan said. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. And—thanks for saving my life in that alley, too.”

“Don’t mention it. Good night, Wylan.”

“Good night, Jesper.”

As the tall boy strode back toward his room, he paused and glanced back. “If you change your mind, my offer of sharing is still open!”

Wylan laughed and shook his head. Then he was alone in the living room to settle down on the couch and curl up under the warm blankets. He felt safer than he had in years, but also uncomfortably aware that he was living a lie even more completely than before. He only had a limited amount of time before his deception would be uncovered.

Until then, however, he’d pretend to be a wizard.

Until then, he’d see what it was like to have friends.


	5. Chapter 5

In the morning, Wylan ate breakfast with the Faheys.

Being invited to join them at the table and sitting down across from Jesper meant more to him than it probably should have. It felt surreal in comparison his usual meals taken alone in his room, with the few servants who dared to speak to him outside of the vacation months quickly dismissed.

Colm passed Wylan a plate of scrambled eggs, and he nearly teared up.

He hadn’t realized he was _this_ starved for human contact, but suddenly he wanted to spent every single day for the rest of his life sitting with people who smiled at him over breakfast and asked if he’d slept well.

Jesper caught his gaze and winked, then did something to his own eggs that made them start changing colors.

Wylan laughed, then clapped a hand over his mouth in case it was meant to be a secret.

Colm just shook his head. “Jes—”

“Don’t worry, Da, I promise I’ll make the eggs go back to normal if anyone walks near the window.” He lifted his wand and levitated two slices of bread across the table to his plate.

“He’s been like this ever since he turned seventeen,” Colm whispered to Wylan. “That’s when the restriction on underage magic is lifted. I swear he’d use magic to breathe if he could figure out a way.”

Wylan smiled, but his stomach twisted. Part of him still wanted to hope they would accept him for who he was. They were kind to him, and he didn’t want to leave this life. But magic was clearly very important to Jesper. Someone who made even _breakfast_ magical wouldn’t want a Squib around.

He swallowed past a lump in his throat and focused on eating.

Jesper finished his multicolor meal first and pushed his plate away. “We’re going to hang out with the others today again, Da.”

“Don’t get into any trouble.”

“Who, me?”

“What are we going to do?” Wylan asked as he finished.

“It should be something special, since you’ll be with us.” Jesper grinned and gave him an appraising look. “Have you ever heard of Quidditch?”

#

Jesper Apparated them both to the place where they would meet the others. “Most people who live in this neighborhood are wizards,” he said. “No worries about your father finding you here.”

The Side-Along Apparition left Wylan feeling slightly sick, but the thought of his father finding him made it even worse. He glanced around at the small houses. Wizards or not, this didn’t seem like the sort of neighborhood his father would frequent. He took a deep breath. Besides, his father probably wasn’t even looking for him.

“We still have to be careful, though, so follow me.” Jesper led him through the neighborhood until they reached an open field where the other three were waiting.

Nina tossed a broomstick to Jesper, who caught it. “Took you long enough.”

“Hey, I brought the guest of honor.”

Each of them had a broomstick as well, and a selection of colorful balls sat by Inej’s feet. Wylan remembered a little about Quidditch from his childhood, although not enough to know how the game worked. It was one of the many things he’d lost when his father gave up on him.

“In actual Quidditch games,” Jesper said, “things are more exciting. We have a Quaffle and the Bludgers, but we couldn’t get a real Snitch. So”—he crouched in front of the balls and picked up the sole yellow one—“we just have to levitate this and hope for the best.”

“At Hogwarts, I’m the Gryffindor Seeker,” Inej said. “That means I try to catch the Snitch.”

As they explained the game to him, Wylan learned Matthias was on the Hufflepuff team as a Beater, which meant he was one of the players in charge of deflecting the aggressive Bludgers from his teammates. Nina and Jesper weren’t actually on the teams but just enjoyed playing with their friends. The four of them would split into pairs and use what skills they had between them for a makeshift game.

“What about Wylan?” Jesper asked. “He gets to play with us today, right?”

Wylan shot him an alarmed look.

“You can’t put him on a broomstick,” Inej said. “He’s never been taught.”

“He could try!”

“No,” Wylan said, before anyone else could offer their input. “I’d really rather not try flying, thank you.”

The broomstick would probably be as dead and useless as the wand if he tried.

“You’re no fun,” Jesper said under his breath, and his spirits sank lower.

“He could be our referee,” Matthias said.

Jesper rolled his eyes. “We don’t need a referee.”

“Yes we do. You cheat.”

“I do not!”

“It’s not a bad idea,” Nina said. “Wylan could keep track of our scores.”

Matthias looked at Wylan. “Would you want to?”

He had a feeling the larger boy was only suggesting it because he didn’t want Wylan to be left out, but although that was embarrassing, he appreciated the gesture. They were doing their best to include him.

And he did want to be involved, even if Jesper thought he was no fun.

“I’ll keep score,” he said.

After they explained the scoring to him, the game began.

Wylan was good with numbers. It was one of the few things he took pride in. Therefore, it was a simple matter to keep track of the two team’s scores as they played, quickly adding points every time someone scored.

“Gryffindor wins!” he shouted, when Inej closed her fingers around their makeshift Snitch, bringing them into the lead despite Jesper’s valiant scores with the Quaffle.

“No fair, since they had an actual Seeker,” Jesper said with a pout as he dismounted his broom.

“It was fair and square,” Nina said with a grin. “You’re the only team with a Beater, after all.”

Wylan couldn’t help but smile. It was so clear that even though they were going at each other, it was all in good fun. And by keeping score for them, he really did feel like he’d been part of the game.

Maybe… Maybe someday he could…

“What,” Jesper said, his gaze fixed on Wylan, “you’re not going to console me after my loss?”

The unexpected comment jolted him from his thoughts. He raised his eyebrows with a suspicious frown. “How?”

Jesper held out his broom. “Take a ride with me.”

“What? _No._ I already said I’m staying on the ground.”

The other boy laughed. “Come on, I’ll be right there with you.” He winked. “Unless you’re afraid to be so close to me.”

Wylan folded his arms. “I’m not.”

“Then?”

“But I’m not getting on that broom, either.”

“Oh come on,” Jesper said with a groan. “Why do you have to be so… un-fun?”

That hurt.

“Leave him alone,” Inej said. “If he doesn’t want to get on the broomstick, he doesn’t have to. What’s gotten into you, Jes?”

Jesper looked away. “Forget it.”

A warmer feeling cut through Wylan’s hurt. Unless it was his imagination, Jesper was disappointed over his decision, like he’d actually _wanted_ to spend more time with him and wasn’t just taking shots at him for no reason. Wylan hesitated. It wasn’t as if he generated an anti-magic field that would stop the broom from working. He should be able to ride it if Jesper was in control.

And once Wylan left them, he would probably never get a chance to ride a broomstick ever again.

“Fine,” he said, “I’ll fly with you.”

Jesper turned toward him with a startled look.

“You don’t have to,” Inej said again.

Wylan walked toward Jesper. “Show me what to do.”

“She’s right,” Jesper said, his gaze serious. “You don’t have to if you really don’t want to. I wasn’t trying to—I just wanted to—” He shook his head as if he couldn’t find the right words.

“I want to try, if I can fly with you.”

Jesper’s dazzling grin and wink made it all worthwhile. The tall boy mounted the broom again. “Get behind me and hold on tight.”

Wylan awkwardly sat on the broom. There were no handholds. “Hold onto what?” 

“ _Me,_ of course.”

He blushed, but wrapped his arms around Jesper.

“There you go.” Jesper laughed and launched the broom into the air.

With a cry, Wylan clung to him, no longer concerned about embarrassment. He wasn’t exactly afraid of heights, but it would be all too easy to slip off the broom… Once, his father had pushed him from a window in the hopes it would awaken some latent magical potential—

No. He pressed his face against Jesper’s back and tightened his grip. He was flying with Jesper. He would _not_ let memories of his father ruin this moment.

“Relax,” Jesper said, shouting to be heard over the wind as they soared through the sky, “I won’t let you fall!”

Wylan took a breath and let it out slowly. If Jesper said so, Wylan believed him. He lifted his head and looked out at the blue sky around them, then at the lush landscape below as they flew over the town and its neighboring fields.

The view was beautiful—but not quite as beautiful as the boy in front of him, whose face shone with pure delight as he steered the broom into a heart-stopping dive that made Wylan shriek.

Jesper pulled out of the dive and arced around a tree. “Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

“I don’t mind.” He’d take a thousand terrifying dives like that if he got to see Jesper smile that way every time.

“You sure? I think I can feel your heartbeat.” Jesper tilted his head to look at Wylan behind him, and the closeness of his face made Wylan’s breath catch.

_No._ He couldn’t afford to fall for a wizard. Common sense told him to stop entertaining such thoughts immediately.

Jesper’s grin told his common sense to take a hike. “If it’s not from the dive, why is your heart pounding like that? You like having your arms around me, huh?”

“Just focus on flying,” Wylan said.

The other boy laughed.

And took them into another sharp dive.

Wylan had never wanted to be on solid ground more in his life, and at the same time, he never wanted to touch the ground again. This was like a scene from someone else’s life, a life he’d once dreamed he would have.

They flew in one more arc around the neighborhood, and then Jesper landed in the field where Inej, Nina, and Matthias were waiting. Wylan tried to get off the broom, but his legs wobbled and he nearly fell.

Jesper caught him. “Careful there.”

Wylan looked up into his face and blushed.

Which of course made Jesper grin and pull him closer. “Something wrong?”

“You’re doing this on purpose,” Wylan said.

“Of course I am. I’m a charmer. Ask anyone. I’ve charmed most of the girls at Hogwarts already.”

Being half-supported in Jesper’s arms after that ride was too much. “What about the boys?”

Jesper’s grin broadened. “Them too.”

Wylan reluctantly pulled himself free. The right thing to do was to pretend that meant nothing to him. He should put this afternoon out of his mind and avoid saying anything to encourage Jesper further. Better yet, if he said he hadn’t enjoyed himself, maybe Jesper would go back to being uninterested.

That was the right thing to do. The logical thing.

“So how was it?” Jesper asked. “Do you want to go flying again sometime?”

“I’d love to,” Wylan said.


	6. Chapter 6

When they got home that evening, Wylan learned Colm had bought a cot for him. Colm reminded him he could put the cot wherever he wanted, but Wylan didn’t mind accepting Jesper’s invitation to set it up in his room.

Maybe it was bad to indulge feelings he could never act on, but he wanted to savor every moment of this while it lasted.

Jesper’s room was small and cozy, with a single window on the wall opposite the door. It was also messy, with textbooks and clothes and all sorts of random items on the floor—quite a change from the immaculate mansion Wylan had grown up in.

“Do you mind if I sleep near the window?” he asked.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Jesper said.

Wylan dragged the cot around Jesper’s bed. He wanted to have a clear view of the window when he went to sleep at night. His room at home had been windowless, to make sure no one saw him in there. Here, he’d see the window whenever he opened his eyes. It would remind him that he was free.

Free.

He sat down on the edge of the cot and stared out the window. It was getting dark, and the sound of crickets filled the air. Everything felt so peaceful here, but somewhere out there, his father wanted Wylan dead. If he had even the slightest suspicion Wylan had survived, he might be planning to orchestrate his death at this very moment.

Wylan shuddered. He’d go far away. That should be good enough. He wouldn’t be a disappointment to his father. He wouldn’t bring shame on the Van Eck name. He would disappear into the Muggle world as Wylan Hendriks, and live out the rest of his days alone.

Jesper’s hand on his shoulder made him jump.

“Sorry,” Jesper said quickly. “I forgot that you… I forgot about your…” He trailed off.

Wylan turned to face him. “You just startled me.” Being touched so suddenly did bring a moment of fear, but Jesper didn’t mean any harm. “What is it?”

Jesper sat alongside him. “I was wondering what you were thinking about.”

His murderous father. What a failure of a son he was. How he’d never be loved. “You,” Wylan said instead.

The other boy laughed. “Now who’s the charmer?”

“I’m still nowhere near your level,” Wylan said.

“Oh, so you _do_ think I’m charming.” Jesper smirked. “Does that mean you don’t need this cot after all? You want to share with me?”

Wylan shoved him. “No.”

“Can’t blame me for trying.”

“I was thinking about how happy I am here,” Wylan said. “It’s only been two days, but I’ve never been this happy before.”

“Would you want to stay with us permanently?” Jesper asked.

Yes. Absolutely. But he couldn’t. “I don’t know.”

“Da wouldn’t mind.”

Wylan glanced into the other boy’s face, searching for any sign of his feelings. “Would you really want me to stay?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

He lowered his head. It was only because Jesper didn’t know the truth. No one really wanted him around as he was.

“Think about it,” Jesper said.

Wylan didn’t need to think about it. He wanted to. Of course he did. But he also knew the reality of his situation. The longer he delayed leaving, the harder it would be when the time inevitably came.

#

The next morning, Wylan woke up first. He looked up at the sunlight coming through the window, then rolled over to look at the other bed. Jesper lay sound asleep, his blankets a mess around him. A soft smile crept over Wylan’s face, but it faded as he looked toward the door.

Maybe… Maybe he should wait for Jesper to get up, instead of leaving on his own.

Then he forced his anxiety back. Colm had been nothing but kind to him. Wylan braced himself and got up.

He left the room and tiptoed toward the kitchen, where Colm sat eating breakfast. He greeted Wylan with a smile. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Wylan fought the urge to call him _sir_.

“Did you sleep well?”

He nodded.

“Would you like breakfast?”

Wylan hesitated. He didn’t want Colm to go through any trouble for him. On the other hand, it might be nice to finish eating before Jesper came out and started magicking his food different colors again.

“Is something wrong?” Colm asked gently. “You seem worried about something.”

Was it that obvious? Wylan shook his head.

“Is this because of the school? We could send a letter—”

“No!” That would be a disaster, and they’d probably find out Wylan couldn’t write in the process. “I’d much rather wait, thank you.”

“I understand.”

Wylan looked around the kitchen. Maybe… he should start cooking. He’d never cooked before, but it was a Muggle stove, so it should work for him. He took half a step toward the stove.

Then Colm stood up, and Wylan froze.

They stood like that for a moment, neither moving.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Colm said. “I was going to get you breakfast.”

Wylan looked down at the floor. Had Jesper told him, or had Colm just realized how nervous he was? “You don’t have to.” He wanted to explain, but even if he could distinguish between his lingering fear of authority figures and his anxiety over lying, he wasn’t sure he’d find the words. “You’ve already been very kind to me, s—” He bit back the word _sir_ just in time. “Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.” Colm hesitated. “I might not have magic myself, but I’d never treat you the way your family did.”

“It was my father,” Wylan said. “My mother is dead. She wouldn’t have…” He trailed off.

He wanted to believe, with all his heart, that if his mother was alive, she would have loved him.

“I’m sorry,” Colm said. “I’m here if you need to talk.”

Wylan lifted his head. He hadn’t expected an offer like that. “Thank you.”

Then the bedroom door opened, and Jesper strolled in. “Morning!” He levitated a pan toward the stove and lit the burner with his wand.

So much for enjoying a nice, magic-free breakfast before he woke up.

“We might go to Diagon Alley today,” Jesper said. “Want to come?”

Wylan hesitated. There was no reason why his father should be there. His trips to Diagon Alley were fairly rare, and the last one had probably been an excuse to eliminate his son.

Besides, it would feel good to have another truly magical day before he had to leave.

So he smiled. “I’d love to.”

#

Walking through Diagon Alley with Jesper and the others was almost as exciting as it had been to go there when he thought his father was giving him another chance. Wylan gritted his teeth, cheeks burning with humiliation from the memory. That shouldn’t be how he saw it. _This_ should be the more exciting of the two visits, his trip to Diagon Alley with friends who actually valued him.

Friends who valued him because they didn’t know the truth, a dark voice whispered in the back of his mind.

“Should we take Wylan to Ollivander’s?” Nina asked. “I’ve never seen someone pick out a wand before.”

“No!” Wylan’s heart leaped into his throat. “I mean, I’d rather wait until I’ve heard from Hogwarts.”

Matthias nodded. “There might be special requirements due to Wylan’s age.”

“Besides,” Jesper said, “we’re here to have fun, not think about school!”

Good. There were enough logical reasons for him to not go wand shopping right away that he could delay it a little while longer.

“What about an owl?” Inej asked.

He’d always wanted an owl when he was a little boy—but no, owls were used for delivering mail. If he got an owl, his friends would probably expect letters from him, and then they’d find out he couldn’t read or write. Wylan’s heart sank. Why did even things that _didn’t_ involve magic have to be so difficult?

“I don’t know if I want an owl,” he said under his breath, as he squashed his lingering daydreams of having a little owl to feed and talk to and go on walks with. “Picking a pet is a big decision.”

Nina clapped her hands together. “Then here’s something we can all agree on—ice cream!”

That sounded safe enough, so Wylan nodded and followed them to the ice cream parlor. He accepted the ice cream they bought for him with a prickle of guilt as he remembered the money he had from selling the amulet, and then he sat down with them at a table outside.

It was hard not to enjoy himself while eating ice cream with friends. Of course, it would be easier if Jesper would stop making his ice cream change colors.

Jesper loved magic so much…

Wylan sighed. He’d just ignore Jesper and appreciate the sights of Diagon Alley. Inej and Nina were arguing over the best ice cream flavor, and Matthias seemed content to eat in silence, so Wylan was free to let his gaze wander over the crowded street. Watching the witches and wizards walking through the streets made his heart ache. This was what life would have been like if he had magic.

Then he stiffened.

One of the wizards was looking straight at them.

He looked to be around their age, a pale boy dressed entirely in black save for silver and green trim—Slytherin colors. One of his black-gloved hands rested on top of a polished cane with a serpent’s head at the top. And he was marching toward their table.

“Um,” Wylan said, not sure if this was a problem.

Jesper lifted his head and followed his gaze, but then he _waved_. “Kaz! You made it!”

The cold-eyed Slytherin reached their table and gave Jesper a flat look. “Of course I made it.” He turned his gaze to Wylan. His eyebrows twitched.

Wylan tried very hard not to flinch away.

Jesper rescued him. “Wylan, this is our friend Kaz Brekker.” He winked. “He’s one of those scary Slytherins you heard about.”

Kaz’s stare grew even more dubious, and Wylan blushed scarlet.

“Kaz, this is Wylan Hendriks,” Jesper said. “He’s a Muggle-born whose father kept him away from the wizarding world until now, but he ran away from home and now he’s staying with us!”

Kaz pulled out the empty chair at the table and sat down without taking his gaze from Wylan. “Really.”

Wylan swallowed hard. Was that boredom or skepticism in his tone?

“How was your trip?” Inej asked.

Mercifully, Kaz turned his attention to her. “Terrible. Not a single person knew what I was looking for—at least that they would say.”

“There’s still plenty of time. You haven’t followed every lead yet…”

They continued talking, apparently about a magical artifact Kaz was trying to locate, although _why_ was unclear. It didn’t sound like something for school. Then again, Wylan wouldn’t know what a normal Hogwarts assignment was like. He slumped in his seat. He’d never really be a part of their world, never.

Jesper leaned close and bumped his shoulder against Wylan’s. “Don’t look so down. He’s like that with everyone.”

Wylan blinked up at him and smiled—then remembered how Jesper introduced Kaz to him and glared instead.

“What did I do?” Jesper asked, laughing.

“You told him I said Slytherins are scary!”

“Do you still think they are?”

“Well… _yes_ ,” Wylan said, in enough of a whisper that hopefully Kaz wouldn’t hear.

Kaz glanced at him and snorted.

That confirmed it, Wylan was going to die. He just wasn’t sure if embarrassment or Kaz Brekker’s magic would get him first.

“Relax,” Jesper said. “Kaz isn’t so bad. He’s one of us.”

Wylan smiled weakly and tried to ignore the churning of his stomach. He knew a few more details about Slytherins. They were supposed to be obsessed with blood purity. Obviously that couldn’t be _too_ much of an issue to Kaz since he spent time in the company of Jesper and Matthias, but if a good, upstanding Ravenclaw like Jan Van Eck hated having a Squib in the family, the average pureblood Slytherin would probably see Wylan as even more of a failure.

“Anyway,” Jesper said, “once you’re done with your ice cream, where do you want to go? Do you like practical jokes? There’s a joke shop here in Diagon Alley.”

“Not really,” Wylan said. Sooner or later, the joke always ended up being about him.

“They have other fun things too! What about fireworks?”

He cautiously met Jesper’s gaze. “That sounds fun… I think.”

“They’re like Muggle fireworks, except better, I promise.” Jesper grinned. “Come on, let’s go buy some!”

“Okay,” Wylan said with a tentative smile. He finished his ice cream and stood up.

“We’re heading off to Gambol and Japes,” Jesper said. “Anyone else coming?”

The others stood as well. All of them.

Wylan’s heart sank. Not that he had exactly wanted it to be just him and Jesper, but he had distinctly been hoping for a group of five, not six. Surely _Kaz_ didn’t want to go to a joke shop.

“Bet I can beat you there!” Nina shouted.

Jesper laughed. “No way.”

“You’re on,” Inej said.

The three of them took off down the street at a sprint, with Matthias shaking his head as he followed. Wylan hurried to join the tail end of the group.

“Wait.”

Kaz’s voice made him freeze. Wylan looked back at him. “W-What is it?”

The pale wizard slowly walked toward him. “Your name isn’t Hendriks, and you aren’t a Muggle-born.”

Wylan’s blood turned to ice.

“So tell me,” Kaz said, “what is Jan Van Eck’s Squib son doing here?”


	7. Chapter 7

Wylan stared at Kaz in horror. “How… How do you know _that_?”

“Your family is prominent in the wizarding world,” Kaz said. “People will recognize you.”

He shook his head. “No, I mean how do you know I’m a… can’t do magic?” Humiliation made his cheeks burn, but his growing fear nearly overpowered it.

No one was supposed to ever learn Wylan Van Eck was a Squib. That necessity had been drummed into him over the years. It would bring shame upon the family name, shame upon his father. Even in his new life, he’d planned to avoid that.

And… if Kaz knew… then Wylan’s deception was over. He thought he had a little longer with his friends before he had to leave.

Cane held in one hand, Kaz folded his arms and leaned back against the wall. “A member of the Board of Governors, whose family has been in Ravenclaw for generations, suddenly decides to send his son to an overseas school and the boy drops out of the public eye almost entirely?” He snorted. “It doesn’t take a genius to guess the truth. Your reaction confirmed it.”

Wylan flushed and looked at the ground.

“Sent to a Muggle school all that time, I assume?”

Any gratification Wylan felt from Kaz not knowing _everything_ about him was tempered by the pain that even this cold Slytherin couldn’t guess how he’d been treated. “No,” he said shortly. “I was locked in the house and forbidden from seeing anyone.”

Kaz looked startled for the first time since the conversation began.

Maybe… maybe he had a heart after all.

“Please don’t tell Jesper and the others,” Wylan said. “They don’t know. I… don’t want them to know.”

“That brings us back to my original question.” Kaz straightened up. His gaze bore into Wylan. “Why are you here?”

“They think I’m a wizard like the rest of you. I told them I’m a Muggle-born who ran away from home. I—” Wylan fought to keep his composure. He would not cry in front of Kaz. He would _not_. “I wanted friends.”

Kaz look distinctly unimpressed. “This cover story won’t work forever.”

“I know,” Wylan said. “Just… a little longer. Then I’ll leave.”

“For home?”

“What’s it to you?”

Home. He didn’t have a home.

When he left the Faheys’ house, he’d have nothing, nowhere to go. He’d be completely on his own, a boy who couldn’t fit into either world.

“Your father is a dangerous man,” Kaz said. “If he’s sent his son to spy around Diagon Alley—”

“I’m not working for my father.”

“Why should I believe that?”

Wylan turned away. “He tried to have me _killed_.” Bitterness filled his voice, and he didn’t bother to hide it. “Nothing I do could ever make up for being born without magic.”

Kaz didn’t say anything.

What would Wylan see if he looked at him again? Contempt? Pity? The terrible scrutiny of someone trying to figure out what was wrong with him or how to fix him? He’d had enough of those looks to last him a lifetime.

He forced his legs into motion and raced down the street after the others.

“There you are,” Jesper said when he finally caught up to them on the corner. “I was starting to think we’d lost you!”

“Sorry.”

Quiet footsteps signaled Kaz joining them.

Wylan stared at the ground. If the other boy was going to reveal the truth about him, he would take it with dignity. He wouldn’t break down, no matter what they said. Even if he had to leave Diagon Alley right then and lose even one more day of friendship, he’d salvage what little pride he still had.

“You’re really coming with us to Gambol and Japes?” Nina asked Kaz. “I didn’t think you had a sense of humor.”

“Practical jokes are ridiculous,” Kaz said, “but you can find some useful things in these stores.”

Jesper laughed. “That’s our Kaz, looking for a way to get arrested even at a joke shop. Come on, Wylan, let’s pick out some fireworks before he brings the law down on our heads.”

Wylan glanced up. “Okay.”

He could feel Kaz’s gaze on him, but the other boy didn’t say a word.

#

Wylan sat in the grass of Jesper’s yard, where a fence provided them with enough cover to set off their fireworks without alerting the neighbors about their unusual properties. As he watched, Jesper sprinkled water on the fireworks, and they shot into the air.

An explosion of color followed, and Wylan clapped.

“You like them?” Jesper asked.

“They’re great.”

“Too bad we don’t have some omnioculars. That’s like binoculars, except you can replay what you’ve seen. We could watch the fireworks again and again… I’ve always wanted a pair.”

“I don’t mind,” Wylan said. “Even though the fireworks don’t last long, they’re still beautiful.”

“Want to set one off yourself?”

He hesitated, then cautiously approached the fireworks. If it didn’t work, he’d claim he must have gotten a bad one and make an excuse for not trying more. He cautiously splashed a little water onto the fuse.

It shot upward with a burst of blue and golden sparks.

“Yes!” Wylan laughed, unable to help himself. The magic must be in the fireworks themselves. Even someone like him could set them off.

He wondered how they were built and what parts required magic. For that matter, he wondered how Muggle fireworks worked, and what the differences were. It would be interesting to compare them, see which parts were the same and which weren’t…

“A pretty firework for a pretty wizard,” Jesper said.

Once he left, though, his access to the wizarding world would be limited. He might not be able to get back into Diagon Alley by himself. If he could stock up on wizard fireworks before he left, then get some in the Muggle world, he could compare them. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to _do_ anything with that knowledge, but he would understand how they—

Jesper waved a hand in front of his face.

Wylan jumped. “What?”

“You were staring at those fireworks with such a hungry look, I was a little jealous.”

He blushed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ignore you.”

Jesper laughed. “You know, I wouldn’t mind you looking at me that way next time.”

Wylan folded his arms. “I was thinking about cutting the fireworks open and taking them apart to see how they work.”

“Okay, I take that back, I do _not_ want you to look at me that way.”

He laughed and tried to ignore the flutter of his stomach. It was getting late, and Jesper’s face in the moonlight was the most beautiful thing Wylan had ever seen. He swallowed hard. “Maybe we should go inside now.”

“Okay.” Jesper gathered up the remaining fireworks.

They walked back toward the quiet house in silence, just close enough together for Wylan to feel how warm Jesper was alongside him. It would be so easy to just… move a little closer…

“Did Kaz give you a hard time?” Jesper asked.

The abrupt question jolted Wylan from his vague thoughts of placing his hand on Jesper’s arm to see what he would do. “No.”

“You can tell me,” Jesper said. “The two of you stayed behind for a few minutes, and I know he can be a little… hard to take, when you first meet him.”

“It was fine.” There was no way Wylan could admit what they had talked about. He still wasn’t sure why Kaz hadn’t betrayed his secret the moment they rejoined the others. “He wanted to make sure I wasn’t giving you any trouble.”

Jesper let out a startled laugh. “I didn’t know he cared that much.”

Wylan shrugged.

“If anyone gives you a hard time, you tell me,” Jesper said. “I’ll protect you.”

Wylan smiled, and his stomach fluttered again. No one had ever offered to protect him before. No one had cared enough to. “Thanks, Jesper.”

#

Freedom was starting to feel natural. Wylan lay on his cot and stared out the window at the night sky. It was beautiful. Everything about this place was. He felt safe here. If only it could go on forever.

The door opened, and Jesper’s bed creaked as he got into it. “I meant what I said earlier,” Jesper said.

“Hmm?”

“If anyone tries to hurt you, I’ll stop them. Even Kaz.”

Wylan rolled over to face him. “Don’t go around cursing anyone for my sake.”

“Who needs curses? I’ll just punch whoever gives you trouble.” Jesper flexed his muscles with a wink.

Wylan nearly stopped breathing.

As tall and lanky as Jesper was, there was still a fair amount of muscle on his lean frame, and he’d taken off his shirt to sleep. His flexing did things Wylan’s heart wasn’t prepared to handle. Would turning back toward the window be too obvious?

“You’re staring,” Jesper said. A huge grin spread across his face, and he straightened up with a playful leer. “See something you like?”

Wylan rolled over to face the window. “Good night!”

Jesper’s soft laughter made him blush. “Wait, don’t tell me that was that the ‘I want to cut you open to see how you work’ look again.”

“No!”

“Then it _was_ the ‘I like what I’m seeing, you gorgeous, sexy man’ look?”

“You don’t need me to tell you you’re good-looking,” Wylan said. “I’m sure you know that well enough on your own.”

“It’s more meaningful when someone cute says it.”

Wylan smiled into his pillow, but didn’t dare look at Jesper. “Better go find yourself a cute wizard to ask, then.”

“I did. He’s right here.”

His heart ached at the implicit lie that he was a wizard, but he liked how this was going so far. He hesitated. He didn’t actually know how to flirt. So he settled for simply stating the truth. “Fine, you’re very good-looking.”

Silence.

Wylan waited a moment, then twisted around to see Jesper staring at him. “What?”

“I didn’t expect you to actually say it.” Jesper smirked. “Sure it’s not too cold over there for you?” He patted the mattress alongside him. “Plenty of room for me to keep you warm all night long.”

Wylan threw his pillow at Jesper. “Stop that.”

Laughing, the other boy caught it. “Joke’s on you, you have to come over here to get your pillow back now.”

A _wizard_ would be able to call the pillow back with magic. Wylan faltered.

His anxiety must have shown on his face, because Jesper’s mirth faded into a concerned look. “Hey, what’s wrong? I’m not going to do anything to you, you know.”

“I know,” Wylan said softly.

“Here.” Jesper held out the pillow, then grabbed his wand.

“No, you don’t have to—”

But it was too late. Jesper levitated the pillow and floated it over to land softly on Wylan’s bed.

Wylan flopped back against it with a sigh. Jesper probably thought he was doing him a kindness, not realizing that was the whole issue. “Good night, Jesper.”

“Night, Wy. Sleep well.”

Maybe the incident had been a blessing in disguise. Wylan glanced over at the other boy. He was in way over his head already. If he had any sense at all, he’d make his getaway before this got any worse.

But… not just yet.


	8. Chapter 8

For the rest of the week, Wylan continued to hang out with Jesper and the others as he had been doing. He slowly got used to Kaz being part of the group.

Sort of, anyway.

Kaz didn’t appear to have a sense of humor—at least not a _nice_ sense of humor—and he always seemed like he was a moment away from using a curse on someone for the way they looked at him.

On the other hand, he hadn’t said a word about Wylan’s identity.

Today, Wylan sat with Jesper and Nina at a table in Diagon Alley. They had visited Sugarplum’s Sweet Shop and bought a wealth of candy. He’d even spent his own money, claiming Colm had helped him exchange his Muggle money for wizard money. He doubted Jesper would ask about it, so it felt like a safe enough lie.

A new broom was on sale at Quality Quidditch Supplies, so Inej and Matthias had gone to take a look. As for Kaz, he often didn’t show up until later in the day, although this was past the time when he usually would arrive.

Maybe he wouldn’t join them at all. These precious Kaz-free moments were so relaxing compared to the stress of having him nearby, with his knowledge of Wylan’s secret looming over what should be an enjoyable day.

“You have to try the Chocolate Frogs,” Jesper said.

Wylan smiled and unwrapped one of the Chocolate Frogs they’d bought. The enchanted chocolate hopped off the foil and into his hand. The scent of chocolate wafted up toward him.

The last time he ate Chocolate Frogs, it was at his sixth birthday party.

His father had given them to him.

Back then, they all thought Wylan was just a late bloomer. His magic would show itself any day now. He’d been too young for them to recognize his reading issues, too. Wylan swallowed past a lump in his throat. Things had changed so much. How could something that seemed so _small_ have turned the man who handed him a box of Chocolate Frogs for his birthday into the man who ordered his death?

How could love transform into hate?

“Is something wrong?” Jesper sounded concerned. “They’re not real frogs, you know. It’s just chocolate.”

Wylan gave himself a shake and stopped staring at the Chocolate Frog. “I know that.” He ate it, but it no longer tasted good thanks to the memory of the ones he’d had for his sixth birthday still fresh in his mind.

“Each one comes with a card,” Jesper said. “What did you get?”

Wylan tried not to think about the cards he’d gotten at his sixth birthday party and picked up the card from the wrapper. “Merlin.”

“You should start collecting them,” Jesper said with a grin. “Then we can trade.”

He managed a smile in return. He wouldn’t be around long enough to build a collection and trade cards with Jesper.

“Now try the Pumpkin Pasties,” Nina said. “They’re delicious too.”

“No,” Jesper said, “he should try Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans first.”

Wylan held his hands up. “Don’t fight over it! I’ll get to everything eventually, okay?”

They both gave him sheepish smiles.

“It’s so much fun showing you our world,” Nina said. “I haven’t had a chance to do this in ages.”

Guilt over his deception prickled him, and he looked away.

“Now,” Nina said, “about this Pumpkin Pasty…”

While he split a Pumpkin Pasty with Nina—much to Jesper’s dismay—Inej and Matthias rejoined them. They appeared to be having an argument.

“It will be much faster than the brooms we have now,” Matthias said.

“No it won’t. It’s too heavy.”

“It’s sturdy, not heavy.”

“Sturdy or not, it’ll slow the broom down…”

Wylan smiled to himself as they sat down at the table as well. Hearing friends argue with one another over minor things, sharing candy with Jesper and Nina, and just spending the day out… it was nice.

Unfortunately, a black-cloaked shape moving down the street toward them said his Kaz-free time was almost at an end. Wylan sighed, but did his best to hide his dismay. Since Jesper, Inej, and Nina counted Kaz as their friend—he wasn’t entirely sure if Matthias did or not—Wylan tried to accept his presence, but he was a lot more comfortable when Kaz wasn’t around.

“So,” Jesper said, gaze fixed on Wylan, “there’s still a lot of things for you to see. What do you want to do today?”

“Whatever you want to do,” Wylan said.

Jesper smirked. “How broadly should I interpret that?”

Wylan rolled his eyes.

The tall wizard slid his chair closer. “What if I said ‘let’s go somewhere private and get to know each other better’? That’s what _I’d_ like to do today.”

Before Wylan could stammer out a response, Kaz reached their table and dropped a copy of the Daily Prophet right in front of him. Then he sat down without a word.

Wylan jumped. He stared at Kaz, then at the newspaper. Kaz never seemed to do anything without a purpose, so he must have dropped it there intentionally, but if he expected Wylan to read it, this was going to go very—

His stomach dropped. He grabbed the paper and stared at the front page. Although he couldn’t read the headline, the wizard walking through the picture was unmistakably his father.

Jesper leaned close to look over his shoulder. “What’s gotten you so excited? ‘Renowned Wizard Jan Van Eck to Oversee Ceremony at Gringotts’?”

Oh no. Gringotts Wizarding Bank was in Diagon Alley.

“When?” Wylan asked, his mouth dry and his heart pounding. “When is it happening?”

“That says it’s today, doesn’t it?” Jesper asked.

Wylan could barely breathe. His father was going to be in Diagon Alley _today._

“No offense, Wy, but a bank ceremony sounds like the most boring thing you could possibly pick, but if that’s really what you want to do—”

“I don’t want to go to the ceremony,” Wylan said quickly.

He dropped the newspaper on the table. Jesper glanced over it again, then shrugged and unwrapped a Chocolate Frog for himself. At least that probably meant there wasn’t anything too suspicious in the article, like a reference to a recently-deceased son named Wylan.

Kaz had known.

The realization struck Wylan like a lead weight. The other boy had brought Wylan the newspaper to warn him without being obvious about it. He suddenly felt guilty for how he’d been hoping Kaz wouldn’t show up.

He tried to stop panicking and _think._ How much time did he have before his father came to Diagon Alley?

“So,” Jesper said, between bites of chocolate, “since you don’t care about the bank, did you decide what you want to do?”

If they stayed away from Gringotts, he might be safe, but he wouldn’t be able to justify avoiding the bank if they naturally ended up near it… and besides, he had no guarantee his father wouldn’t go to other places in Diagon Alley as well.

He needed to get out of there, and quickly. He could say he was feeling sick, but that would probably mean not spending more time with Jesper.

Kaz was watching him with narrowed eyes. What did he expect Wylan to do, tell them he was in danger? _Oh, that renowned wizard wants me dead, so I need to leave._ If he said that, they’d want to know why.

“I like your idea,” he said instead, focusing on Jesper. “Let’s leave Diagon Alley and spend today alone together.”

Jesper choked on the Chocolate Frog. “ _Really?_ ”

“Um. Yes.”

The other boy looked like Christmas had come early. Wylan blushed. Maybe he should clarify that he didn’t mean it in the same flirty sense as when Jesper had said it—but what if he didn’t want to go, then?

Besides, having some private time with Jesper was hardly unappealing.

“Sorry, everyone.” Jesper jumped out of his seat. “Looks like we’ll be skipping out on you for the rest of today. Wylan has summoned me away.”

Wylan stood up as well, careful not to look at Kaz.

“Hold on tight so we can Apparate.” Jesper slid his arm around his waist.

Blushing even harder than before, Wylan clung to Jesper. He had a moment to marvel at how strong Jesper’s body felt when he held him this way, and then Diagon Alley was fading.

#

When the world returned around them with a lurch, Wylan glanced around.

They weren’t at the Faheys’ home or anywhere else he recognized, but standing in what appeared to be a sheltered alcove near a cliff.

“Where are we?” Wylan asked.

“A perfect place when you want a quiet, intimate atmosphere.” Jesper’s soft laughter vibrated through Wylan’s chest. “I’d ask if this was what you had in mind, but since you still haven’t let go of me…”

Wylan blushed and pulled away. “I, um…”

He’d escaped his father, but this was an entirely different sort of danger.

On the other hand, Jesper wasn’t like his father at all. Jesper was gentle, and patient, and understanding. Even if Wylan couldn’t admit the truth, expressing his current misgivings might not be so bad.

“I didn’t actually think much about this except that I wanted to be alone with you,” he said in a rush, face on fire.

Jesper laughed and sat down. He patted the ground next to him. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Really?” Wylan sat alongside him.

“I’d never pressure you into something.” Jesper blinked, and then he frowned. “Did you… think I would?”

Yes. Wylan wasn’t used to his feelings being respected. But he shook his head. “No, I just didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Jesper’s gaze was warm. “You could never disappoint me.”

Sure he could. If Jesper knew who—what—he was sitting with, he wouldn’t be so understanding. The memory of that birthday party flashed through Wylan’s mind again. Love could too easily turn to hate.

“Besides,” Jesper said with a wink, “I brought something fun for us to do.”

Wylan stared up at him.

The other boy held out the bag of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans they’d bought. “It’s all yours now.”

In contrast to the Chocolate Frogs, Wylan’s few memories of eating those weren’t pleasant. He shook his head. “I don’t know… it really is _every_ flavor, isn’t it?”

“Well, not _every_ flavor.”

“It isn’t?”

“Of course not. For example, there’s no Jesper-flavored bean.” Jesper winked. “If you want a taste of me, you won’t find it in this bag.”

Wylan blushed. “That’s, um…”

“See?” Jesper said. “Not every flavor.”

“Okay, but the flavors it _does_ have include some awful ones.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” Jesper asked.

Were they already back to him being no fun, just like with the broom? “Maybe I don’t have a sense of adventure,” Wylan said. “So if that’s what you want, go find someone else!”

“Whoa.” Jesper held ups his hands. “No need to get like that…”

Wylan sighed. He just wanted to be enough for someone as he was. No matter what he did, he was never good enough. There was always something wrong, even when he hid the most objectionable parts of himself away.

“It’s fine, really,” Jesper said. “You don’t have to eat them.” A sly note entered his voice. “But… if you did, I might reward you.”

“Don’t tell me my reward is the Jesper Bean,” Wylan said.

Jesper cracked up laughing and whistled. “Oh, is that what you want?”

“No!”

“Your reward would be a trip to Hogsmeade.”

Wylan hesitated. “You mean… once we’re at Hogwarts?”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t make you wait that long.” Jesper shook his head. “Besides, even if they let you go because of your age, they’d still want your guardian’s permission. I doubt that’s happening.”

Not a chance. The very thought made Wylan shudder.

“I mean before school, just the two of us,” Jesper said. “We could go this weekend. You seem to tolerate Side-Along Apparition well enough.”

That was true.

Wylan had always wanted to see Hogsmeade. It sounded like a beautiful place, one of the many wonderful things denied to him because of how he was.

And… he’d be with Jesper.

He grabbed the bag of beans. “If I eat these, you’ll take me to Hogsmeade?”

“Yep.”

He reached in and pulled out a bean. Its greenish color didn’t leave him with much hope for what its flavor might be. This was going to be painful.

He thought about being alone with Jesper on their own private Hogsmeade trip.

Some things were worth a little pain.


	9. Chapter 9

He was going to Hogsmeade with Jesper.

Even a day after making the deal and forcing himself to eat the entire bag of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, Wylan still couldn’t believe it.

On the weekend, _he was going to Hogsmeade with Jesper._

Jesper slid into the chair alongside him at the breakfast table. “Coming with us to Diagon Alley today?” Then he winked. “Or should we go somewhere private again?”

Wylan cast an anxious glance toward Colm, who was at the stove cooking scrambled eggs, but although his eyebrows twitched, he looked more amused than anything else. Well… at least he didn’t mind.

Not that encouraging this sort of thing was good. Leaving Jesper would be painful enough without spending so much time together. As much as Wylan wanted to go to Hogsmeade, it would make things worse in the end. Developing an attachment to Jesper—of any kind—was bad for his mental well-being.

Jesper waved a hand in front of his eyes. “Are you still with me? Are you about to swoon from my outrageous flirting?”

Wylan elbowed him. “I’m thinking.”

“This decision requires extra thought? I’m flattered.”

“I’ll go to Diagon Alley with you,” he said.

“Aw, I was hoping for some more private Wylan time.” Jesper leaned close, his breath a warm gust against Wylan’s ear. “At least when the weekend comes, I’ll have you all to myself for an entire day.”

Flustered, Wylan elbowed him again, and the taller boy pulled back with a laugh.

While Jesper started eating breakfast, Wylan glanced at the copy of the _Daily Prophet_ Colm had given to him at his request when he woke up. There were no photographs of his father in today’s articles, but that didn’t necessarily mean Diagon Alley would be safe.

He could ask Colm or Jesper to tell him what the news articles were about…

But…

Admitting he couldn’t read almost felt worse than admitting his lack of magic.

“Hey Jesper,” he said instead, “are there spells that can make a letter or a book read itself out loud?”

Jesper looked up from his food with a frown. “Probably. Howlers must be enchanted like that, right? Oh—Howlers are letters that yell their content at you. So there must be a spell that can do that. Why?”

“Just curious.”

There was no reason for Jan Van Eck to go back to Diagon Alley so soon. Gringotts shouldn’t have ceremonies often, and few other things there would interest him. Besides, if something had been announced, Kaz would probably warn Wylan again like he had the previous day.

Relying on Kaz. What a strange thought.

“I bet Inej would know if there’s a spell like that,” Jesper said. “If you’re really curious, we could ask her.”

#

“I’m sure it’s possible,” Inej said, when they presented her with their question after joining her and Nina in Diagon Alley.

Great. That meant she didn’t know, either.

“Want to try figuring it out?” Jesper asked.

Inej raised her eyebrows. “You, Jesper Fahey, want to research a spell that doesn’t involve explosions or practical jokes?”

He shrugged. “If we get it right, it’ll be impressive when we get back to Hogwarts. It’ll show we really have a good grasp on how this all works, you know?”

She frowned at him, then glanced at Wylan.

“I was just curious about it,” Wylan said quickly. “You don’t have to go through any trouble for me.”

To his surprise, she grinned. “Now I understand.”

Although he wasn’t entirely sure what she meant, he blushed nevertheless.

Inej opened up one of her textbooks and tapped it with her wand while muttering a set of incomprehensible words. Nothing happened. She tried a different phrase, with the same lack of results. Jesper slid his chair over to sit alongside her and got out his own wand as well.

Wylan glanced away. Even though they were doing it for him, he didn’t want to watch them using magic on a book—it was sort of like everything wrong with him encapsulated in a single moment.

So he turned his attention to Nina. She’d been surprisingly quiet, only looking up from her work to say hello to them when they first arrived. A small cauldron sat on the table in front of her, along with several small jars of ingredients. She was slowing mixing the cauldron while following instructions written on a sheet of parchment.

The clear liquid in the cauldron turned a bright shade of blue, then dark purple.

Then it exploded.

Wylan yelped and ducked. Liquid from the cauldron sprayed everywhere.

“I’m sorry!” Nina was by his side in a flash and cleaned up the mess with a tap of her wand.

He shook his head. “It’s okay.”

On the other side of the table, Inej magicked away the droplets that had fallen on the book she and Jesper were working with. “Do you need to do that right now?”

“Yes,” Nina said, her tone irritated. “This Potions essay is due at the start of next term, and I can’t figure it out.”

“A Potions _essay_?” Jesper asked.

She nodded and began pouring ingredients into the cauldron again. “We’re supposed to follow the instructions given here and then explain why they’re flawed. The correct potion will turn blue and stay stable, so I need to figure out what’s going wrong and explain it in my essay.”

This time, Wylan was prepared and ducked in time to dodge the second explosion.

“Why can’t you just skip your Potions homework like everyone else?” Jesper asked.

“Because if I don’t get better at Potions,” she said, “I’ll never become an Auror.”

An Auror? Wylan hadn’t thought much about what his new friends would do once they graduated from Hogwarts, but he hadn’t expected Nina would want to fight the Dark Arts.

Once again, she started the potion over from the beginning. Wylan watched as she put the ingredients into the cauldron.

The potion did turn blue partway through the process. It just didn’t stay that way.

What a strange assignment, being given intentionally incorrect instructions to see if she could figure out how to correct them. Her reactions were even more fascinating. While she seemed frustrated by her repeated failures, she didn’t show the fear Wylan was used to when he messed something up.

If only he was more like her—not an embarrassment, not a mistake, but someone who could afford to try new things.

The potion blew up again.

Nina sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

“Are you still working on that?” Matthias walked up to their table with a frown. “I thought you would have been finished by now.”

She scowled at him, and he lifted his hands into the air.

“Convince her to take a break,” Jesper said. “She’s driving the rest of us crazy.” As if to emphasize his point, he waved his wand and a splash of purple liquid flew back across the table toward Nina.

“I can’t take a break yet,” she said. “I _will_ figure this out.”

She started over again.

Many times, Wylan had repeatedly tried something despite failing, but it was always out of fear of punishment or shame at his ineptitude… not out of determination and the desire to understand.

Inej put up a magical shield to protect the book. Jesper watched Nina with a resigned expression. Matthias looked dour, as though he expected this to go on for quite a while.

The liquid in the cauldron was clear. Nina picked up one jar and sprinkled a few hairs in. The potion clouded, but didn’t change. Next, she added a pinch of a ground-up root. The liquid shifted to a blueish shade. But it wouldn’t last, it never did, and soon it would explode—

“I think you need to add more of that root.”

To his horror, Wylan realized he’d just spoken out loud. He clapped a hand over his mouth.

Nina stared at him. “Wait, you think you figured it out?”

“I—” He wasn’t even a wizard. He had no business trying to help with her potion. Face on fire, he shook his head. “I… I just realized it always changes to purple right after you finish putting in the root… but it turns blue first, so I thought maybe… maybe it’s because there isn’t enough…” He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. With any luck, they’d all forget he said anything.

Instead, Nina sprinkled in some more of the root. The liquid stayed blue for a moment longer, then started to change to a purplish shade as usual.

Wylan’s heart sank.

But Nina added even more of the root. The blue color returned. It stayed.

Nothing blew up.

For a moment, everyone sat completely still, staring at Nina’s stable potion. Then she threw herself across the table and hugged Wylan. “You’re a genius! An absolute genius!”

He stared in shock as she released him and returned to her seat.

He’d actually gotten it right?

“Did you see that?” she said to Matthias. “Wylan hasn’t even taken Potions yet, but he watched what I was doing and figured it out!”

Maybe that meant… but no, it had nothing to do with magic. He hadn’t made the potion himself, just taken a guess based on what he observed.

Still, he couldn’t help but smile. He wasn’t completely useless after all.

Jesper grinned. “I know who I’m teaming up with in Potions from now on.”

Wylan’s happiness soured. No matter how good he was at mixing things together, he wouldn’t actually be able to take Potions. Magic was necessary to make the potion work—and he’d never be accepted at Hogwarts anyway.

“Good,” Inej said. “You can finally give poor Kuwei a break.”

“Hey, he likes working with me,” Jesper said.

Whoever Kuwei was, Wylan already disliked him.

Not that he had any reason to.

Except Wylan _wouldn’t_ be with Jesper in Potions and this Kuwei would be, and he was a wizard, which was probably what Jesper wanted.

While he tried to think of a solution, Nina thanked him for his help and wrote something down, probably what he’d said about his observations. He nodded mechanically. It felt like he’d taken one more step deeper into the lie he’d woven around himself.

Maybe… maybe that wasn’t actually a problem.

Schemes began to come together in his mind. He’d spent years pretending he was attending a different wizarding school. As long as he could prevent his friends from finding out he wasn’t even a wizard, it might still work. He’d tell them Hogwarts had contacted him and recommended home-schooling due to his age. He’d invent an imaginary tutor and attend imaginary studying sessions.

Pretending he had magic would be the most difficult part. Currently, they just assumed he wasn’t trained. If he went ahead with this, he’d need to come up with an excuse as to why he never used magic in front of them—maybe some unusual restriction because of starting so much later than most wizards. His apparent skill with Potions would help him keep up the pretense…

“What’s going on here?”

Kaz’s voice shattered Wylan’s illusions.

“Wylan just helped me with my Potions homework,” Nina said.

The pale wizard stared straight at Wylan. “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” Jesper said, seemingly oblivious to the tension between them. “He’ll be a genius at Potions when he gets to Hogwarts.”

“Oh yes,” Kaz said. “When.”

Wylan glared at him, and Kaz stared impassively back.

Inej cleared her throat. “Any luck with your search?”

“Still nothing.” Kaz turned to her and took the pressure off of Wylan, but the damage had already been done.

Even if Wylan could maintain a pretense of being a wizard, it would still only be temporary. He’d eventually run out of excuses. And it would _never_ work when one of their number already knew the truth.

Jesper slid his chair closer. “Looking forward to Hogsmeade?”

“Yeah,” Wylan said with a sigh. It would probably be his only chance to ever go there. “More than you know.”

“You’ll love it there. We can leave early in the morning, and then…”

Kaz was frowning at him again. Wylan gritted his teeth. Did he dislike the thought of his friend going to Hogsmeade with a Squib? If Kaz was going to reveal the truth about him, he ought to just do it and get it over with. If he wasn’t, then he should mind his own business.

But whatever his problem was, Wylan couldn’t shake his sudden dread that Kaz was going to cause trouble for him before this was over.


	10. Chapter 10

At last, the morning of the Hogsmeade trip arrived. Wylan was so excited, he forgot his concerns almost entirely. Worries could wait until after this one, beautiful day.

“Don’t let Jesper get you into any trouble,” Colm said over breakfast.

Wylan smiled. “I won’t.”

It had become his habit to get up earlier than Jesper in the mornings so he could eat with Colm. Not only did their shared lack of magic make Wylan a little more comfortable, even though he was the only one who knew, but it also made him feel like he was actually part of the family. Eating breakfast with Colm reduced his anxiety to manageable state, with only the occasional prickle of guilt over his lies and pang of regret that he couldn’t stay forever.

“I think you’re good for him,” Colm said.

Wylan blushed scarlet. He stared at the older man, unable to find words. He hadn’t expected _that_ from Jesper’s father of all people _._

The bedroom door opened before he could think of a response. “Ready for today?” Jesper asked as he levitated some bread across the room.

“I can’t wait.”

“Good.” Jesper sat down and started eating. “I want your first trip to Hogsmeade to be special.”

First and only. Wylan looked away.

“Have a good time,” Colm said.

“We will,” Jesper said. “Let’s make this a day to remember.”

#

Apparating only made Wylan feel a little queasy this time. He was getting used to it. Of course, having Jesper’s arm around him certainly helped. He blinked around at the tiny cottages and shops of Hogsmeade, and he couldn’t help but smile.

Much like at Diagon Alley, he could tell the people who walked down the street were witches and wizards.

“It’s an all-wizarding village,” Jesper said. “No need to be cautious here.”

Wylan wondered if any of the people who lived in these cottages or walked past them down the street were like him. Any at all, even one. He couldn’t be the only Squib trying to dream of a life like this.

“Come on.” Jesper caught his hand and tugged him down the street.

His enthusiasm was infectious. With a laugh, Wylan raced alongside him, trying not to focus too much on Jesper’s warm fingers wrapped around his own. His hand was so strong, yet so gentle at the same time. “Where are we going?”

“The Three Broomsticks,” Jesper said. “You need to try butterbeer.”

They entered the warm inn together, and Jesper let go of his hand. Still, Wylan had to smile as he looked around. The room was crowded, but he didn’t feel afraid. This sort of place was much too cozy and welcoming for his father to ever go there by choice. “Butterbeer, huh? Are you trying to get me drunk?”

Jesper laughed. “Relax. Kids drink butterbeer all the time with no problem. Technically it’s a tiny bit alcoholic, but it’s nothing to worry about.”

Wylan smiled. “Then I’d love to try some.”

Jesper led him to a table and ordered butterbeer for both of them. It arrived in two large mugs, steaming from the heat. Wylan picked his up and glanced at the amber liquid before giving it a cautious sip. It was warm and sweet, and he happily took another drink.

“Do you like it?” Jesper asked.

“I love it.”

“I knew you would. You have good taste. That’s why you’re here with me.”

Wylan laughed and kept drinking his butterbeer. Being treated to a delicious drink by Jesper made him feel warm and loved. Truth be told, Jesper probably could have bought him the worst-tasting drink in the world and he’d still have enjoyed it if it meant the other boy was sitting across the table from him with such warmth in his gaze.

“If you like sweet things,” Jesper said, “we should go to Honeydukes next.”

Someone with Jesper’s knack for words could have responded with something eloquent and flirtatious, like _the sweetest thing in Hogsmeade is sitting here with me right now._ But if Wylan tried, it would come out awkward and corny, assuming he didn’t trip over the words. So instead of trying to flirt, he just nodded.

Once they were both done with their butterbeer, Jesper stood up. Wylan did as well. He half-expected Jesper to take his hand again, but when he didn’t, Wylan followed him to the door without making a fuss. Maybe it was his turn to initiate.

Outside, he hurried after Jesper. He could just reach out for his hand. Then again, maybe that wasn’t what Jesper wanted. Surely he’d have taken the lead if he wanted to hold hands again. It might have just been the excitement of the moment that made him do it the first time. But his hand had felt so nice…

“Here we are,” Jesper said. “This is Honeydukes.”

And he’d missed his chance. Wylan forced aside his conflict and followed Jesper through the door.

The inside of the shop was filled with candy and other sweets, stacked on the shelves in boxes and tins. Wylan turned in a slow circle to take everything in. He felt a little silly, like he was gawking, but Jesper looked delighted, so he didn’t stop.

“Pick out whatever you want,” Jesper said. “It’s on me.”

Thank goodness he didn’t suggest Wylan try something specific. Then he would have been left floundering to explain why he couldn’t read the labels. With that danger avoided, Wylan took his time browsing. He didn’t want to spend too much of Jesper’s money, so he picked out a chocolate bar and a few delicious-looking pastries.

Jesper was already at the counter with a bag of candy in hand. He bought Wylan’s as well and gave the bag to him. “Here you are, sweet treats for a sweet wizard.”

Wylan’s cheeks heated.

The shopkeeper winked at them as they left, and that made him blush harder.

“Where next?” Jesper asked once they were outside again. “This day is yours.”

“You know Hogsmeade better than I do,” Wylan said.

“Let’s take a walk through the streets. Let me know if anything catches your attention.”

“Okay.”

Walking through the quiet streets of Hogsmeade with Jesper was worth the trip on its own. As they strolled past groups of witches and wizards, Wylan reached out cautiously toward Jesper’s hand. Then he pulled back. He _couldn’t._ Leaving him would hurt badly enough as it was.

If only Jesper wasn’t so alluring. It wasn’t fair.

Then something caught Wylan’s eye, and he turned. “Is that a music shop?”

“It is,” Jesper said. “You want to check it out?”

Instead of answering, Wylan ran on ahead. He pushed open the door of the shop and stepped into paradise. Magical music instruments filled the room, along with supplies and sheet music. A harp on display played a quiet melody in concert with a piano in the corner, both enchanted to play by themselves.

The door opened and Jesper walked in. “Now I know what really gets you excited.”

“I love music,” Wylan said.

“Do you play?”

“I used to play the flute,” he said, “until…”

Until him playing music would be too dangerous because it might alert people to his presence in the house when he was supposed to be overseas at school. Wylan fell silent. Let Jesper fill in the rest however he wanted. He’d probably get the general idea.

Still, it was hard to feel sad in the music shop. He closed his eyes and let himself simply take in the atmosphere.

“Hey,” Jesper said, “there’s something I need to do quick, but I’ll meet up with you again in just a few minutes.”

Wylan blinked at him. “I can come—”

“Nah, take your time and look around. Do you still have money?”

“Yes, but—”

“I can tell you love it in here,” Jesper said with a grin, “and you’d just be bored if you went with me for this errand.”

Not at all. He’d never be bored with anything that involved being with Jesper.

“Let’s meet up at Dervish and Banges, okay?”

“W-Wait a minute!” Wylan reached out to stop him before he could leave. “I don’t know where that is!”

“It’s at the end of High Street. There’s a sign out front. You can’t miss it.”

Oh no, no, his beautiful dream was turning into a nightmare. He wouldn’t be able to read the street signs or the sign outside the shop. Wylan swallowed hard. If he left it at that, there was a chance he’d still find the right place. Or he could wander around and claim he got distracted and forgot where to meet. Maybe he could insist on accompanying Jesper for his errand, except then he’d seem like a child, and that was the last thing he wanted.

Jesper frowned. “Are you okay? Hogsmeade is safe, you’ll be fine.”

“I…” Wylan wet his lips. “About the sign, um…” He wasn’t doing this, he couldn’t do this, but in his panic the words had started to come out on their own. “I sometimes… have a little bit of trouble…” The other boy was staring at him in confusion, so Wylan stammered out the rest in a rush. “Sometimes letters get mixed up and I can’t read what’s there.” He stared down at the floor, face on fire.

Had he just admitted to someone that he couldn’t read?

And not just anyone, but _Jesper_?

Of all things, he’d spoiled his beautiful Hogsmeade trip by telling Jesper he couldn’t read?

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know.”

Wylan looked up sharply.

“You know the street we were on when we visited the Three Broomsticks and Honeydukes?” Jesper said, as calmly as though Wylan hadn’t just blurted out one of his deepest shames. “Dervish and Banges is the shop all the way at the end. It’ll have a lot of odd-looking gadgets in the window. But if you’re more comfortable meeting somewhere else or waiting for me here, we can do that instead.”

That was it?

He said it like it was no big deal at all.

He’d given more specific instructions, _and_ he trusted Wylan to make it there, instead of implying he was incompetent or helpless like his father would have.

“Dervish and Banges is fine,” Wylan finally said.

He’d have met Jesper on the moon if he asked.


	11. Chapter 11

Wylan spent only a little more time in the music shop. He didn’t have enough money to buy a flute, but he checked the price so he could keep it in mind for the future. His main priority was to find Dervish and Banges.

He found his way back to Honeydukes and from there walked to the end of the street. Magical gadgets on display in the window of the shop at the end told him he’d found the right place.

And even if he hadn’t, Jesper wouldn’t mind.

Wylan glanced around. No sign of Jesper yet. He hurried into the shop.

Dervish and Banges was filled with all sorts of magical gadgets, some he recognized and some he didn’t. He scanned the shelves until he finally found what he was looking for. With a smile as he imagined Jesper’s reaction, he picked up the box and walked to the counter.

“These are omnioculars, right?” he asked.

The shopkeeper gave him an odd look, probably because the box was labeled, but nodded. “Yep. You can slow down action and replay it as much as you want.”

His puzzled reaction didn’t cause the embarrassment it normally would have. Jesper’s casual reaction to Wylan’s difficulty with reading hummed in the back of his mind. The money Jesper had given him wasn’t enough to cover the omnioculars, but together with what remained from selling the amulet, he could just cover it.

He bought the omnioculars and then left the shop to wait.

A few minutes later, Jesper strolled into view with a small box under his arm. His face lit up when he saw Wylan, and he hurried to join him. “Did you buy yourself something musical?” he asked, with a nod toward the bag in Wylan’s hands.

When he smiled, it was the most beautiful sight Wylan had ever seen. “Actually, um…” He held out the bag. “This is for you!”

In his imagination, he’d saved the gift until they were home and presented it to Jesper in a much more eloquent way, but seeing that dazzling smile sent all of Wylan’s plans out the window.

Jesper’s mouth opened, but he didn’t say anything. He accepted the bag and looked inside. Then his eyes widened. “Omnioculars?”

“You said you wanted a pair, so…”

“I didn’t think you’d remember. Wylan, this is incredible! Thank you!”

His happiness sent a thrill of warmth through Wylan.

“I almost feel ashamed now after what you got me,” Jesper said, “but this is for you.” He held out the box he’d brought back with him.

Wylan stared at him. “What?”

“Come on, you didn’t figure it out? Why else would I have an urgent errand in Hogsmeade I had to do alone?”

Brightly colored paper covered the box, and Wylan tore it open to reveal a box of fudge.

“It’s from Honeydukes,” Jesper said. “Homemade, just for you. I asked them to make it so I could come back for it later. I, um…” He let out a sheepish laugh. “I know it seems like all I give you is food, so it’s not nearly as special as the omnioculars, but—”

“It’s amazing,” Wylan whispered. The other boy had made a special request at Honeydukes for him? Now the shopkeeper’s wink as they were leaving made more sense. “No one’s ever given me something like this before.”

“I’m glad.” Jesper smiled. “You seem to like chocolate, so I thought fudge would be a safe bet. I wanted to get you something special. I… really wanted this to be a special day for us.”

Wylan took a deep breath and looked into his eyes, no longer self-conscious about how awkward or clunky his words might sound. “This has been one of the best days of my life.”

“Mine too.”

He couldn’t breathe. Jesper was looking at him like he was the only other person in the world. Wylan wanted to gaze into his gray eyes forever.

“Before we go,” Jesper said, “I need to stop in Dervish & Banges for a minute. You don’t mind, do you?”

Wylan shook his head. A fog of happiness had enveloped him, a buffer between him and the future he didn’t want to think about. He’d never met anyone quite like Jesper before. He never would again.

They walked back into the shop together.

The shopkeeper blinked. “Something wrong with the omnioculars?”

“No, they’re perfect.” Jesper stepped up to the counter. “I’m interested in unusual items. Things you don’t put out with the rest of the stock. Don’t worry, I can pay for it.”

“We have a list of specialty items,” the man said. “I’ll go get it. Wait here, please.”

While he headed into a back room, Wylan looked at Jesper. “You’re here to buy something that isn’t on display?”

Jesper rolled his eyes. “When Kaz heard we were going to Hogsmeade, he asked me to make a few inquiries for him.”

Oh good. They were here on Kaz Business.

“I told him this was a special day for me and you, but he just gave me that flat stare of his and said he was sure I could find a few minutes to spare.”

“This isn’t going to get us arrested, is it?” Wylan asked.

“Nah,” Jesper said with a laugh. “He’s not after anything technically illegal.”

Technically. Great. “What is he looking for, anyway?”

“It’s a rare magical artefact that compels anyone who touches it to tell the truth. He heard rumors about it, and now he wants one.”

“That sure sounds illegal to me,” Wylan said.

Jesper laughed. “It’s not classified as a Dark Magic artefact or anything like that, so don’t worry too much. They already sell devices here that detect lies, so it’s just a step up from that.”

Such a device sounded like a nightmare. It would probably set off constant alerts while Wylan was around. “Why does Kaz want something like that?”

“Who knows? He’s always getting mixed up in questionable business at Hogwarts. Probably thinks it’ll give him the edge in this year’s business dealings.”

Somehow the thought of Kaz roaming Hogwarts to conduct shady business dealings with other students didn’t come as a surprise.

“Here you go.” The shopkeeper emerged from the back room with a catalogue, which opened on its own and began flipping through pages one at a time. The images of the magical artefacts fascinated Wylan, and despite his reluctance to get involved in Technically Legal Kaz Business, he couldn’t deny wanting to know what everything was and how it worked.

“Nope, not here,” Jesper said when the catalogue reached the final page. “Thanks anyway.”

“If you give us the details,” the shopkeeper said, “it’s possible we could get it in stock.”

Jesper explained the premise of the device and the rumors Kaz had heard, and despite Wylan’s lingering doubts about the artefact’s legality, the shopkeeper nodded and said he’d look into it and contact him if he was able to get one in stock.

If Kaz did find such a thing, Wylan would need to be careful. Would touching it immediately compel Wylan to tell everyone the truth, or would it only work in response to a direct question? What if he only touched it for a moment?

Jesper looped his arm through his. “Shall we go?”

Startled out of his thoughts by the sudden contact, Wylan blushed and nodded.

#

They strolled down the streets of Hogsmeade together, arm in arm. They weren’t actively shopping anymore, but Wylan didn’t care. He was out with Jesper, and he couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful than this.

“Hey,” Jesper said, “when you asked about a spell to make books read themselves out loud, was that because of what you said about getting letters mixed up when you try to read?”

Wylan jumped. “Um. Yes.” At least he hadn’t detailed the extent of his trouble reading. Even admitting that much made him a little uneasy.

“There must be a way,” Jesper said. “There are Self-Writing Quills, which will probably help if you have trouble writing, too. And since they exist, it stands to reason there must be a way to have sentences read themselves out loud to you.” He rubbed his chin. “Inej and I couldn’t figure out the spell ourselves, but I bet someone at school knows. When we get to Hogwarts, we can ask the professors!”

“Ask the professors?” Wylan shook his head, face on fire. “You don’t have to go through that much trouble for me.”

Jesper grinned at him. “Hey, before I just thought it was something you were curious about. Now that I know it’ll help you, I’m going to figure this thing out.”

He cared that much?

“Of course,” he said with a shrug, “I could always just read to you instead. Having your own personal Jesper is almost as good as a spell, right?”

Having Jesper in any capacity was better than all the spells in the world.

“Whatever makes you happiest,” Jesper said.

“What about Muggles?” After all, Wylan wouldn’t be able to cast the spell on his own, and he couldn’t count on Jesper being there. “How do they deal with… problems like mine?”

“You don’t know? Didn’t your family realize…” Jesper’s smile faltered. “Oh. Was that… Did your father…”

“He despised me for it,” Wylan said shortly.

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “It’s okay. I’m sure there’s a way, though.”

“Da probably knows.” Jesper shrugged. “But who needs to worry about inconveniences like that when we have magic, right?”

“R-Right.” Wylan swallowed past a lump in his throat. “Still… isn’t it interesting to think about how people do things without magic?”

“Eh, that’s not really my thing. Just wait until you start learning how to use your magic. Then you’ll understand how much better it is than doing things the Muggle way.”

_Better._ The word cut through Wylan’s heart like a knife. He didn’t want to disappear from Jesper’s life. He didn’t want this happiness to become only a memory.

But if he was doomed to lose this, at least he could make the most of the time he had.

#

That evening, once they Apparated home and told Colm about their day, soon it was just the two of them alone in Jesper’s room for the night.

Wylan put his box of fudge in a safe place. It was a gift from Jesper, after all.

A gift from Jesper.

Was homemade fudge the sort of gift someone would buy for a friend? Or did it mean… something else?

“Deep in thought?” Jesper asked from behind him, his voice teasing.

Wylan jumped and turned to face him. “What do you want your future to look like?”

“A good time.”

“I’m serious.”

The other boy sat down on the foot of Wylan’s cot. “I’ve actually thought about becoming an Auror.”

“Really?” Wylan sat alongside him. “That’s what Nina wants to do too, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Inej, too. Aurors fight the Dark Arts.” Jesper grinned. “Sounds like it would be an exciting life.”

“And a dangerous one,” Wylan said.

Jesper shrugged. He suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Would that bother you?”

“Me?”

“I mean… if we were… spending time together. Would you mind it? If I became an Auror, I mean.”

Wylan ducked his head and forced a lighthearted note into his voice. “Oh, I was just worried about you. I mean, how would you feel if one day you had to arrest Kaz?”

Jesper laughed. “Do you really see Kaz becoming a Dark Wizard?”

Absolutely, 100%, no doubt about it.

Yet Wylan hesitated. His thoughts flashed back to the day Kaz warned him about his father coming to Diagon Alley, without giving away his secret. “No, maybe not.” He thought about it a moment longer, then smiled. “Maybe he’d be the sort of Dark Wizard who would curse the actual dangerous ones so you could bring them in.”

“There you go,” Jesper said with a grin. “Kaz isn’t so bad, really. Now, about my question…?”

“I think you’ll make a great Auror.”

“Thanks.” His voice grew serious. “But… it’s not like I wouldn’t want quiet times too. It would be nice to come home to someone each day.”

Wylan’s heart pounded against his ribs. “Someone?”

“Someone like you.”

He drew a sharp breath. He’d wondered, suspected, hoped—but to hear it out loud like that came as a shock. It took the closeness that had been building between them and forced it into the open.

The worst part was knowing it might never be possible.

“I guess you’ve dated a lot of people, huh?” he asked, trying to keep his voice casual, as if this didn’t feel like one of the most important moments of his life.

“I have,” Jesper said, a slightly hurt note in his voice, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t settle down. Sure, I’ve dated a witch or two, and a couple of wizards, but things are different with you.”

“A couple witches and wizards?” Wylan said, barely able to force words out over the thumping of his heart. “Have you ever dated a”—but he couldn’t ask if Jesper would date a Squib; as far as Jesper knew, Wylan didn’t even know what a Squib _was_ —“Muggle?”

“Now that, I haven’t done,” Jesper said. “Not that I necessarily _wouldn’t_. My parents are proof that it can work. But it’s so much easier when it’s someone you see at school.”

School.

Hogwarts.

Where Wylan wouldn’t be going.

Jesper reached up and touched the side of his face. His fingers were warm and soft and gentle, and every point of contact made Wylan’s heart race more. “Who I dated in the past doesn’t matter. You’re special to me.” He leaned a little closer. Their faces were inches apart. “You mean more to me than anyone else I’ve ever known.”

“I bet you’ve said that before,” Wylan said.

“Maybe,” Jesper said with a sheepish smile, “but this time is different.”

“How?”

“This time I’m saying it to Wylan Hendriks.”

_Van Eck_ , Wylan wanted to say.

But in the end, it didn’t matter, any more than it mattered if Jesper meant what he said or if it was just a game to him. None of it mattered, because this was all just temporary. When the time for keeping his secret was up, Wylan would disappear and Jesper would never think of him again.

He closed his eyes and let Jesper kiss him.


	12. Chapter 12

There had to be a way. Wylan told himself that over and over as he and Jesper walked through Diagon Alley the next day.

His lips still tingled from the second kiss Jesper had given him, once they both woke up in the morning. Until yesterday, he had never kissed anyone before. It was new and… confusing, to be honest. More like he let himself be kissed than actually kissed Jesper back. But it was also warm and nice and he hoped it would happen many more times.

But that wouldn’t come true if Wylan left. Kaz had yet to break his silence, so maybe he was a non-issue after all. Wylan just needed to figure out a reliable way to pretend he was a wizard.

And lie every day for the rest of his life.

Nina greeted them with a cheerful wave when they reached the spot where they were meeting today. “How did it go?”

“It was the best trip of my life,” Jesper said.

Her eyebrows lifted, and her gaze darted between the two of them, and at the lack of distance between them.

Jesper cleared his throat, tugged Wylan around to face him, and kissed him.

“Oooh!”

Nina’s exclamation made it even more embarrassing, but Wylan couldn’t help but grin despite his blush as he separated from Jesper to sit down at the table. Nina gave him a thumbs-up, while Matthias shook his head with a long sigh.

Jesper claimed the seat next to Wylan, across from Inej. “Any new insight on a spell to make books read themselves out loud?”

Oh, he wasn’t going to let that go. Learning it was something that could help Wylan had made it a priority for Jesper. He’d been so kind and understanding about that… maybe there was a chance he’d understand the rest, too.

Wylan almost felt like he really was the Muggle-born they thought he was, except instead of finding himself in an unfamiliar world of magic, he’d found himself in an unfamiliar world of kindness. People never treated him so well before, and he didn’t know the rules of this world.

“So?” Nina leaned close. “Tell me all the details!”

He glanced over, but Jesper was deep in conversation with Inej again, so Nina had to be talking to him. “What?”

“Hogsmeade! I want to hear all about it.”

“Oh,” he said. “It was nice.”

“Nice?” She grinned and waved her hand toward Jesper. “Looks like it was a little more than just _nice._ ”

He blushed. “We visited lots of shops together. Jesper bought me some fudge, and I got him a set of omnioculars. Then afterwards we were talking, and, um… we kissed. That’s about it, really.”

She looked disappointed at the lack of juicy details. Matthias, however, gave him an approving nod.

Wylan wasn’t entirely sure how to read the older boy, but he seemed reasonable enough, just a bit stiff. Still, they’d never really spoken to each other. “Hey, Matthias? You’re a Muggle-born, right?”

The other boy looked startled by Wylan striking up a conversation with him, which made it a little less awkward. “That’s right.”

“Do you have any Muggle friends?” He must have made friends before he learned he was a wizard. “How do you deal with it?”

Matthias frowned. “Once I was accepted to Hogwarts, we started to drift apart. I tried, but… not attending the same school made things difficult, and there was so much I couldn’t tell them. It felt like most of my life had to be kept secret. We just didn’t have enough in common anymore.”

“Oh.”

Nina tilted her head. “You know, I thought you seemed uncomfortable whenever we mentioned going to Hogwarts lately. Is that what’s been bothering you?”

Wylan looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah… I guess so.”

His questions never got to the heart of the matter. Attending different schools, needing to keep their lives a secret, those issues always came up first, so it never reached the true problem of whether or not it was too difficult for someone with magic to be friends with someone without.

Jesper’s parents had managed it. Wylan looked over at him, hard at work with Inej just to help out, and tried to imagine how things must have gone when Jesper’s mother met Colm. How did they make it work?

“Don’t worry,” Nina said. “If you have friends you’ll miss, I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

“Thanks.”

Hopefully that would be the end of it. He didn’t want to spin a story about imaginary friends he didn’t have. These were his new friends, his only friends, and he wanted to stay with them.

Wait a minute. They expected him to know nothing about the wizarding world, so a little bit of harmless curiosity should seem normal enough.

“Does the opposite exist too?” he asked, keeping his voice as casual as he could. “Like, um… a wizard-born Muggle?”

“They’re rare,” Nina said, “but they exist. They’re called Squibs.”

“What do they, um… do? Do they live with wizards?” he asked.

“Actually, I think most Squibs try to integrate into the Muggle world as best they can. There are some who stick around, but… well, it must be hard. Probably even harder than a wizard trying to keep Muggle friendships. Imagine constantly being around people who can do things you can’t. It must be awful.”

Wylan looked down at the table.

“I feel bad for them,” Nina said. “They don’t quite fit into either world.”

He’d heard his father’s diatribes against him far too often to not hear echoes of what Nina left unsaid. Muggles and Squibs were inherently different. Muggles existed separate from the wizarding world. They were born without magic because there was no reason for them to have it. Squibs, on the other hand, were _defective_. They were pitied because they were _mistakes_. They didn’t fit in, and they’d always be burdens because of it.

“Hey,” Nina said, “did I say something wrong?”

Wylan lifted his head. “No, no, I’m fine! I’m a little overwhelmed by everything I don’t understand, that’s all. I—”

“Wylan!” Jesper bounded to his side and tossed a book onto the table in front of him. He tapped the open page with his wand. “ _Legere._ ”

At first, nothing happened. Then a soft voice came from the air above the book. “…is an ancient practice that stretches back thousands of years. To fully understand its history, we must…”

“You figured it out?” Wylan asked.

Jesper beamed. “Inej did, really. So far we’ve only figured out how to make it read one page at a time, but it’s a start!”

“What’s this, now?” Nina asked, looking from them to the book and then back again.

“Wylan asked me if there was a spell that could make books and notes read themselves out loud.” Jesper hesitated and glanced at him.

He gave the tiniest shake of his head in response.

“He was curious,” Jesper said, “so I wanted to solve it for him.”

Inej joined them. “It wasn’t too hard once we started looking at similar spells.”

“That’s because you’re another genius like Wy,” Jesper said.

They were all so nice. If only…

A shadow fell over their table, and Wylan nearly jumped out of his skin. “Am I interrupting something?” Kaz asked.

“Jesper and I worked out a new spell,” Inej said.

Kaz’s eyebrows twitched, but for once he didn’t seem to have a snide comment. He pulled out a chair and sat down, then looked at Jesper. “Did you learn anything at Hogsmeade?”

“Sorry,” Jesper said. “I asked at Dervish and Banges, but they didn’t have it. They’ll get in touch if they learn anything, though.”

“You sure you didn’t forget because you were _distracted_?” Nina asked with a teasing smile and a wink in Wylan’s direction.

“He asked at Dervish and Banges,” Wylan said. “I was there.”

Matthias let out a long sigh. “I don’t know if I should be pleased that Jesper isn’t so easily distracted or displeased that he participated in something of such dubious legality.”

At least Wylan wasn’t the only one skeptical about Kaz wanting a rare truth-revealing artefact.

Inej shook her head. “Kaz isn’t going to use it for anything wrong.”

“So you claim,” Matthias said dourly.

Jesper met Wylan’s gaze and winked. “Why don’t we leave them to their arguing and go have a good time together?”

He blushed furiously, but nodded. “Okay.”

The other boy reached for his hand as he stood up, and before Wylan’s heart could finish fluttering over holding hands with Jesper again, he’d pulled him forward and kissed him.

“I see there’s been a development there,” Kaz said, his voice dry.

Wylan jumped. Kaz was watching them with narrowed eyes.

“What’s it to you?” Jesper sounded baffled.

“Nothing.” Kaz tapped his cane against the ground and regarded them for a moment longer before asking, “You’ve worked everything out then?”

“What is there to work out?” Jesper asked. “I know what will happen with Hogwarts is still up in the air, but so what? We’ll just contact them.”

“I see. I’m sure Wylan’s dying to do that,” Kaz said. “Aren’t you, Wylan?”

Wylan avoided his gaze. “It’s no rush.”

“No rush?” Kaz asked. “Strange, you strike me as the sort who would want to have things planned out in advance. Aren’t you cutting things a little close?”

“Maybe you’re right,” Jesper said. “We better talk to Da about contacting Hogwarts soon.”

Kaz was doing this on purpose. If Wylan had magic, he would have attacked him. Not that it was a huge surprise he disapproved of him and Jesper dating. Of course he didn’t want one of his friends dating a Squib. But if that was the issue, he should come out and say it.

Did he hate Wylan so much he wanted to make him suffer as long as possible first?

“Are you sure you aren’t rushing things?” Kaz asked, his voice cool. “Do you really know each other that well?”

“What we do is our own business,” Wylan said.

For half a second, he admired his own bravery to speak up to Kaz like that. Then Kaz was out of his seat, pointing his cane straight at him, and his newfound courage evaporated. From the way Kaz held that cane, his wand was almost certainly in there.

Wylan scrambled backward as Kaz marched toward him.

“Kaz!” Inej shouted, but he ignored her.

He backed Wylan into the alley between buildings and stopped. Wylan froze. Over Kaz’s shoulder, he could see the street. A group of wizards walked past the spot where Jesper, Inej, Nina, and Matthias still were.

One of them was his father.

“Wouldn’t it be nice,” Kaz said in a low voice, “if you didn’t need an excuse every time you wanted to hide?”

Wylan ducked his head. His heart pounded.

“What will it be this time? Will you tell Jesper you want to be alone with him again?”

“I _do_ want to be alone with him.”

Kaz snorted.

“What?” Wylan asked. “Why do you protect me when it seems like you hate me?”

“If you can’t figure that out, I’m not going to tell you.” With a dismissive shake of his head, Kaz lowered his cane and stepped aside.

The group of wizards had long since gotten out of sight, but they were probably still in Diagon Alley. Wylan hurried past Kaz and went straight to Jesper. “Let’s go now, okay?”

Jesper ignored him and glared at Kaz. “Kaz, you can’t just threaten my boyfriend like that!”

“It’s okay,” Wylan said, even as he blushed over the word _boyfriend._

“It is _not_ okay. Kaz—”

The last thing he needed was to linger in Diagon Alley while they argued. He caught Jesper’s arm. “Really, it’s okay. Kaz was just…”

In all honesty, he didn’t quite know. Kaz’s quick reaction to shield him from his father flew in the face of his belief that the other boy simply hated him. Even if he didn’t want him dead, it would have been logical enough to reveal the truth afterwards rather than let Jesper think he’d attacked Wylan without provocation.

Yet he wasn’t saying a word.

He clearly disapproved of Wylan being with Jesper—yet not enough to tell Jesper why.

_If you can’t figure that out, I’m not going to tell you._

Whatever it was, Kaz thought it was obvious. It couldn’t be as simple as not wanting his friend to date a Squib. If he felt that way about Squibs, he would just reveal the truth.

The truth.

Kaz’s comments rang through Wylan’s mind again. His heart sank. That was it. Kaz didn’t like him being a relationship with Jesper while lying to him.

Maybe he didn’t realize how temporary this all was.

“Look,” Jesper said, “I know your family treated you badly, but it’s not okay for someone to push you around like that, especially when he’s supposed to be our friend.”

Kaz watched them in silence, arms folded, looking almost like he expected Wylan to confess his lies on the spot.

“Please,” Wylan said, “I just want to leave Diagon Alley for now.” He didn’t have to feign the anxiety in his voice.

Jesper’s expression softened, and he wrapped his arm around Wylan. “Fine. We’ll go somewhere to be alone, away from certain people.” He shot a glare in Kaz’s direction.

Wylan squeezed his eyes shut. At least once he was out of the picture, everything would go back to normal.

#

Time passed in bliss. They spent their days at Diagon Alley, at the coffee shop, at all the places where Jesper and his friends normally enjoyed summer vacation. They worked on homework—or avoided it, in Jesper’s case—talked about the upcoming school year, and let Wylan see a slice of the life he’d always wanted to have.

Soft kisses from Jesper and warm, previous moments when they were alone together turned it from happiness to bliss.

Wylan expected trouble from Kaz, but all he got was the occasional glare and frosty silence when the other boy saw him and Jesper kissing.

Life settled into a comfortable routine, and he let himself believe it would last.

#

They were sitting together in Diagon Alley when Kaz joined them, slightly later than the rest as usual.

“You look happy,” Inej said.

Wylan glanced at Kaz’s impassive expression. How could she tell?

“I’ve found it,” Kaz said.

Jesper gave him a sharp look. “That artefact you’ve been searching for?”

“Yes.”

Oh no. Wylan hadn’t entirely lost his fear that Kaz might—accidentally or intentionally—use the artefact on him to make him give up his secrets.

“I was skeptical,” Kaz said, “but it seems legitimate. I should be able to get it before we leave for Hogwarts.”

“Sounds like cause for a party,” Jesper said.

Kaz snorted. “I don’t need a party.”

“He’s right though,” Nina said. “We _should_ have a party. It won’t be long before we’re going back to school, so we should celebrate the end of our vacation.”

Oh no.

Wylan’s heart skipped a beat.

The school year was starting up soon enough that she wanted to throw a party?

He drew a sharp breath. The world spun. His deadline had crept up on him and he’d barely realized it.

“Hey,” Jesper said, “you haven’t heard anything from Hogwarts yet, have you, Wy?”

“No,” he managed.

Inej frowned. “Is it possible they aren’t aware of your situation?”

“Maybe.” He avoided looking at anyone, although he could feel Kaz’s gaze burning into him. “They never managed to find me, after all.”

“I’ll talk to Da,” Jesper said. “Tomorrow we can send an owl and get things straightened out.”

“Tomorrow?” Wylan asked.

“Unless you’d rather do it tonight?”

“No! Tomorrow is fine…”

Dread settled in on him like a cold chill. He wouldn’t be able to talk his way out of this one. He should have left much earlier, but he’d wasted too much time, unwilling to let go of this wonderful dream. They thought he was supposed to attend Hogwarts, and that meant they’d get in touch with the school to find out why no letter had ever come for him. His deception was over.

He was out of time.


	13. Chapter 13

Wylan looked around at Jesper’s room. He wanted to memorize everything about it. He felt so safe and warm in this house. He wanted to burn every detail into his memory, so when he was living by himself, he could think back to the time he spent here and comfort himself with the memories.

He’d been doing the same for each room in the house ever since they got back from Diagon Alley and Jesper asked Colm about sending a letter to Hogwarts the next day. There was no avoiding it any longer.

Wylan wanted to memorize the kitchen, where he ate breakfast with Colm each morning.

He wanted to memorize the living room, where he and Jesper often sat together for a few minutes when they got home each day.

He wanted to memorize the backyard, where they’d put off their fireworks.

And he wanted to memorize this room, where he’d flirted with Jesper and had his first kiss, and where he slept securely because he knew he was safe.

More than Diagon Alley, more than Hogsmeade, more than the pretense of being a wizard, the Faheys’ home was the thing Wylan would miss the most. He took a deep breath and fought back tears. Maybe, if he was lucky, he’d find a place to live where he could feel even a fraction of this happiness.

But he wouldn’t have Jesper.

He’d tried to tell himself their relationship was a product of infatuation, that it meant nothing in the long run, that he was just overwhelmed by the charm of a handsome young man who treated him with kindness.

The ache in his chest told him otherwise. When he thought about never seeing Jesper again, it felt like his heart was being ripped out. This wasn’t a simple infatuation he’d get over after a little while.

“Hey.” Jesper walked into the room, paused for a moment, and then sat alongside him on the cot. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting a little strange all evening.”

“I’m okay,” Wylan said.

“Are you worried about what the school will say?”

Close enough. “Yeah.”

“It’ll be fine, I promise.”

“What if they say I’m too old to start?” Wylan asked. “They might not want to accept me as a student because of my age. Maybe that’s why I haven’t gotten a letter!”

Jesper laughed. “Is that what you’re worried about? Relax. Even if they’ve never dealt with this sort of situation before, they’ll find some way to teach you how to use your magic.”

It was all too close. Shadows of the past from before Wylan’s life fell apart completely and his father insisted there had to be a way to get his magic to manifest itself. Jesper said these things in an innocent way, but he might still be disgusted if he learned Wylan had no magic at all.

Wylan squeezed his eyes shut against the tears that threatened to leak out.

“Hey…” Jesper wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” Wylan shook his head. “Just remembering how my life used to be.”

“That’s all over now. Soon we’ll be at Hogwarts together. No matter what happens, things are going to be wonderful there.”

He swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

“Besides, you have me.” Jesper winked. “I’ll make all your sadness go away.”

Wylan’s heart ached. He wanted to spend every day together like this.

“You… don’t regret it, do you?” the other boy asked, his amused expression replaced by concern.

“Regret what?”

“Being with me. If you’ve had second thoughts, I’ll… I’ll understand.”

Wylan squeezed his eyes shut. No, he didn’t regret it, because it wasn’t possible to regret something he wanted so much. Yes, he regretted it, because he didn’t have much longer by Jesper’s side. No, he didn’t regret it, because he would do it again in a heartbeat. Yes, he regretted it, because it made him dream of a life he couldn’t have.

He opened his eyes again. “Being with you makes me so happy, Jesper.”

“Same, Wy. You’ve changed my life.”

A lump formed in his throat, and he swallowed hard. “Before I met you, I felt so hopeless about everything. I never thought someone like you would even look twice at me.” His lip trembled, but he kept himself under control. He would not cry in front of Jesper. He wouldn’t. Not only would it be embarrassing, but it would raise too many questions. “Sometimes it feels like it’s all a dream… a dream I have to wake up from.”

“It’s not a dream,” Jesper said. “I promise.”

But it was. He’d lingered in his dream as long as he could, and it was time to wake up and face reality. “I want you to know how much you mean to me,” Wylan whispered. Because Jesper would doubt it, when he woke up in the morning and found him gone. He drew a shaky breath. “I… love you, Jesper. I want you to know that. I want you to know that I’ve loved every minute we’ve been together.”

Jesper’s gaze grew worried. “You almost sound like you’re saying goodbye.”

Wylan shook his head and offered a weak laugh. “No, I just… I guess I’m bad at expressing my feelings.”

“If that’s all it is, there are other ways you can show me, you know.”

He laughed and leaned close to tentatively kiss Jesper. It was the first time he actually initiated a kiss, and his own boldness made him blush. In all the days since they became a couple, he’d been content to let Jesper take the lead. But here and now, he needed to do this.

Jesper’s firm lips relaxed against his, and a thrill surged through Wylan as he tried to take the lead for the first time. Soon he succumbed to Jesper’s greater experience, but he wrapped his arms tightly around the other boy all the same.

This was real. No one could ever take this memory away from him.

“Phew.” Jesper at last pulled away with a smirk. “You’re pretty passionate when you want to be.”

Wylan blushed. “You bring it out in me.”

“Do I? Then let’s see if I can do it again.” Jesper reached up and cupped the side of his face. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be than right here with my Wylan.”

_His_ Wylan. The casual endearment carried an unspoken reminder of the promise he made when they first kissed, that even though he’d been with other people in the past, his feelings for Wylan were special.

“I wish I could stay here forever with my Jesper.” And of course it sounded stilted and awkward when he said it, but he made up for it with another kiss.

Soon they settled back against the pillow together, with Wylan in Jesper’s arms. He felt warm and protected, like the world couldn’t hurt him ever again. But that was a lie. Although he closed his eyes to savor the moment, he opened them when sleep threatened to encroach upon him and pulled away with a sigh.

“Good idea,” Jesper said. “My bed is more comfortable.”

Wylan blushed.

“Come on, you _sure_ you don’t want to share tonight?”

Part of him did, since this was the one thing he would never be able to have with Jesper, but he shook his head. Sleeping with Jesper and then leaving him would be cruel, and it would make slipping out in the night even more difficult. “I’m sure.”

“One of these days, maybe I’ll get a different answer from you.” Jesper grinned. “I can dream, anyway.”

Wylan looked into his eyes and tried to memorize his face, but it there were details he’d forget, and he never wanted to lose the memory of what Jesper looked like. “Let’s take a picture together.”

“What, now?”

“Yeah. This is a special time for us, right? I want to remember this moment and how much you changed my life.”

Jesper laughed and ran his fingers through Wylan’s hair, which made his whole body tingle. “Okay. I’d love to take a picture with you.”

#

Wylan sat alone on the edge of his bed and looked at the photograph. In the style of wizard photographs, the image of himself and Jesper was moving. Jesper in the photo wrapped his arm around Wylan’s waist, and Wylan relaxed against him while blushing. It perfectly encapsulated how he’d felt a moment ago.

He sat there staring at the photo for a long time.

In the bed alongside his, the real Jesper lay sound asleep. He shifted a little and mumbled something, but he didn’t stir. He was gorgeous even in the dim light that came through the window, and the sight made Wylan want to hold onto him forever and never let go.

Jesper.

He hoped he’d made it clear how much he cared about him. When Jesper woke up and found out Wylan was gone, he’d have a lot of questions, but maybe the memory of tonight was enough to let him know Wylan really had cared about him.

Oh, who was he kidding? If their positions were reversed, Wylan would assume Jesper had never loved him and had been unwilling to tell him to his face. Leaving this way would break Jesper’s heart.

He sighed and hugged the photo against his chest. He was taking it with him.

One of the shirts he’d gotten while living with the Faheys would serve as his makeshift bag. He wrapped up the fudge from Hogsmeade, the photograph, and a single firework he’d managed to keep. His other changes of clothes, he’d leave behind. Maybe Colm could sell them and not feel so much like he’d wasted money on someone who disappeared.

Wylan tied the bundle shut and stood up on shaky legs. His stomach lurched. Part of him wanted to dive back under the covers and forget his plan, just like he’d been doing ever since he and Jesper met.

If he did, they’d get in touch with Hogwarts tomorrow. Soon the message would come back telling them that Wylan was a Squib and wouldn’t be accepted at the school.

Assuming, of course, it didn’t end up in front of the Board of Governors, where his father would learn Wylan was still alive and living with the Faheys. Wylan’s legs wobbled, and he gripped the edge of the bed to steady himself.

This was it. This was really it.

He turned to look at Jesper, still fast sleep. Tears welled up in Wylan’s eyes, and this time he let them run down his cheeks. “Goodbye Jesper,” he whispered, lips trembling as he fought to keep his sobs inside. “I love you.”

Then he turned and walked out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

Outside in the night air, Wylan shivered. He actually hadn’t planned out this part in detail, but he had a rough idea of what to do. Since this was a Muggle neighborhood, he’d find his way to the bus station. He’d traded the last bit of wizard money he had for a few Muggle coins, enough to hopefully get him on a bus away from here.

Light in the corner of his eye made him turn. He looked, then yelped as a giant, silvery bird dove down from the sky straight toward him.

He scrambled out of the way as the bird landed in front of him. It looked like a crow, except silver and much bigger than a crow had any right to be. Since it wasn’t attacking him, he couldn’t resist his curiosity. He took a cautious step closer. That silvery color and the way the light streamed off of it… was this a Patronus?

“Come to the alleyway behind Jesper’s house, Van Eck,” the Patronus said in Kaz’s voice. “Don’t make me hunt you down.”

Then it disappeared.

Of all things, he’d been stopped by _Kaz’s_ Patronus? Wylan let out a long sigh and glanced toward the road that would take him behind the house. He had no doubt Kaz would follow through on his threat to retrieve him by force if he didn’t obey, and he’d never reach the bus station in time to escape.

Fine. He’d deal with Kaz, assure him he was disappearing from their lives forever, and then leave. The other boy would probably be thrilled he didn’t have to handle a lying Squib anymore.

#

Kaz was waiting for him in the alleyway. He looked as sinister as ever, dressed in a black cloak with his cane in hand. He’d been leaning against the side of the building, shrouded in shadows, but straightened as Wylan approached.

“I’m here,” Wylan said, too tired to wait for him to make his point. The ache in his heart was bad enough without lingering in this neighborhood. “What is it?”

“You’re out of time,” Kaz said.

“I know that.”

“And?”

“I’m leaving.” Wylan held up his bundle. “I’ll be gone by morning.”

“So that’s how you’re going to deal with this.”

He’d expected him to sound happier about it. “Yes.”

Kaz’s voice grew dangerous. “What about Jesper?”

Wylan looked away. “He’ll forget about me soon enough.”

“He’s in love with you.”

“He loves the wizard he thinks I am.”

“Did you at least tell him why you’re leaving?”

“No!” Wylan stared at him in shock. “How could I?”

A contemptuous note entered Kaz’s voice. “So you’ll simply disappear and let Jesper wake up in the morning to find you gone. He’ll think you just walked out on him. He’ll probably assume you never meant a word of what you said.” His eyebrows twitched. “ _Did_ you mean any of it, or was it all part of your cover?”

“Of course I meant it,” Wylan said, furious. “I… love him.”

“Not enough to tell him the truth.”

Wylan glanced down at the ground. “I can’t. I don’t want that to be the way I remember him.”

He could imagine Jesper’s reaction upon learning Wylan lied to him and had no magic at all. He couldn’t bear to have his last memory of Jesper be the look of disgust he was so used to from his father. He wanted to remember the happy times, to cling to them without any shadows attached.

He deserved that little bit of happiness, at least.

Kaz responded with a sneer. “You’re more like your father than I thought.”

Wylan’s head snapped up. “I’m nothing like him!”

“Yes you are,” Kaz said. “Both of you believe being a Squib is something so terrible, so shameful, it’s the worst thing anyone could ever know about you. You’d rather Jesper think you played him for a fool and walked out on him than learn you’re a Squib.”

“You have no idea what this is like!” Wylan shouted. His voice cracked, but he pressed on. “My father despised me every day of my life since he learned what I am. I’m the dark blot on the family name, the mistake—”

“I’ve had enough of your ridiculous self-loathing!” Kaz moved so fast, Wylan barely had a chance to react before the young wizard’s cane was pressed against his throat. “One more word and I’ll Transfigure you into a toad and drop you in the river.”

Yes, his wand was 100% in that cane. Wylan didn’t dare move. He wanted to shrink in on himself and beg for forgiveness, but he had a feeling that would only make things worse. His heart hammered in his throat.

Self-loathing? How could Kaz really dismiss it as being just that? A pureblood wizard like him could never imagine what he’d gone through.

But Wylan didn’t dare say that with Kaz probably seconds away from following through on his threat.

“I know the truth about you,” Kaz said. “I’ve known since the day we met. Have I ever treated you unfairly?”

“You’re literally threatening me in an alley right now.”

The other boy’s expression didn’t change.

Wylan sighed. “You’ve… treated me about the same as you treat anyone, I guess.”

“I don’t care that you’re a Squib. I don’t think any less of you than I would if you were a wizard.” Kaz lowered his cane, but his contempt-filled glare was almost as frightening. “But if you walk out on Jesper without a word, I’ll always remember you as a coward who let Jan Van Eck control not only your life, but even your _thoughts._ ”

That was too much. Wylan turned away. The tears he’d suppressed when he left the house rose up again, and he choked back a sob.

“Do you really think Jesper will react that way?” Kaz asked. “You think that little of him? You assume _I’m_ such a better person than he is?”

“No,” Wylan whispered, “but I just… I can’t…” All of his attempts to learn Jesper’s thoughts on the matter flashed through his mind, and he squeezed his eyes shut. “Even if Jesper was kind about it, he wouldn’t want to date a… someone like me.”

“You can’t even say the word.”

He flushed, but when he tried to bring himself to actually call himself a Squib out loud, all he could hear was his father’s disgusted comments and—almost worse, in a way—Nina’s well-intended comments about how much she pitied them.

“Maybe you’re right,” Kaz said coolly. “Maybe Jesper doesn’t want to date a Squib. And maybe he’d refuse to date someone who _lied_ to him constantly.”

Wylan flinched.

“But then what do you lose by telling him? Tell Jesper the truth, so at least you won’t break his heart when you walk out.”

He slowly turned to face the other boy. “You really do care about your friends, don’t you? You come across like you don’t care about anyone, but that’s not true. You have a heart.”

Kaz snorted. “Watch it, Van Eck. I might still turn you into a toad.”

The threat had no force behind it this time. It almost made Wylan smile. Almost. “If I refuse to tell Jesper, what will you do? Will you force me to tell him?”

“That would be the easy way out for you, wouldn’t it?” Kaz turned away. “I’m not that kind.”

Wylan stared at him.

“Tell him, or don’t. It’s your choice. Decide how you want Jesper to remember you.”

Then, before Wylan could say anything else, Kaz lifted his cane and Apparated, leaving Wylan alone in the alley with only the cold wind for company.

#

Wylan sat on the edge of his cot and looked at Jesper. Part of him wanted to go through with his plan and leave after all. Kaz wouldn’t stop him. It didn’t matter what anyone thought about him once he was gone.

Yet the other boy’s words kept echoing through his mind, and he couldn’t stop imagining Jesper’s heartbreak if he woke up and realized Wylan had left forever, without a word, without any explanation or justification. Doing that to him would be too cruel, and all because Wylan wanted to protect himself. It was selfish.

Still, the thought of going through with this was agony. He’d made up his mind and told himself what had to happen. Curse Kaz for fueling a tiny spark of hope in his heart again.

A dark, twisted part of Wylan deep inside wanted to prove Kaz wrong, to prove that it wasn’t _ridiculous self-loathing_ no matter what the Slytherin thought. When Jesper reacted the way he certainly would, then Wylan could leave with the unhappy satisfaction that this wasn’t his fault but just the way things had to be.

He’d leave immediately after Jesper reacted, so it would hurt less. Only a glimmer of disgust would intrude upon those happy memories.

Wylan took a deep, shaky breath. “Jesper.” His voice was hoarse. “Jesper, wake up!” A slight quaver made it worse, and as the other boy stirred in bed, he tried to steady it. “I need to talk to you.”

“Hm? ‘s it morning already?”

“I need to talk to you,” he said again.

“Wylan?” Jesper sat up and rubbed his eyes, voice still thick from sleep. “Wha’s going on?”

“I’m not going to Hogwarts with you,” Wylan said.

Now the other boy sat straight up. “Huh? What… What are you talking about? Of course you are!”

Wylan clasped his knees to keep his hands from shaking. “I’ve been lying to you ever since we met.” He stared down at the floor to avoid Jesper’s gaze. “I’m not a Muggle-born. I’m a Squib. And I didn’t run away from home, either. I was in that alley because my father hired someone to kill me.”

Silence followed his statement, enough to give him a dizzying, disorienting sense that maybe he hadn’t said it after all, but he knew it had been done. His secrets were out in the open, and nothing he did could take them back.

He finally dared to lift his head.

He expected Jesper to look angry, and he did.

What he didn’t expect was for Jesper to jump out of bed and fumble at the nightstand where he kept his wand. “Who is he?”

“What?”

“Your father.” Jesper found his wand at last and marched toward the bedroom door. “I’m going to destroy the monster who tried to kill my Wylan!”

“W-Wait a minute!” Wylan ignored the flutter in his stomach at being called his Wylan again, and reached out to stop the other boy. “Jesper, didn’t you hear anything else I said?”

Jesper stopped and turned to face him. “I heard the rest.” For a moment he didn’t say anything, just looked at him with an unreadable expression, and then he finally said, “Why did you lie to me?”

The hurt in his voice sent a stab of pain through Wylan’s heart. He looked at the floor again. “All of you treated me like I was one of you, like I could be your friend.” Tears welled up in his eyes despite his efforts to hold them back. “That was all I wanted.”

“But I don’t understand, why did you—” Jesper abruptly cut off.

After a moment, Wylan glanced up. The other boy’s gaze had landed on the bundle. Small though it was, it probably couldn’t be mistaken for much of anything besides a shirt wrapped around a box of fudge and a few other possessions.

The lingering frustration and anger was gone from Jesper’s voice when he spoke again. Instead, it sounded like he had been completely drained. “You… _were_ saying goodbye earlier, weren’t you?”

Wylan squeezed his eyes shut and nodded.

“Why would you…” Jesper trailed off. His footsteps carried him closer, and then the cot shifted as he sat down alongside him.

He wasn’t quite close enough for them to touch. That made it harder. Either he should stay far enough away to let the distance between them grow, or let Wylan feel the warmth and comfort he needed. This in-between state was maddening.

“Is that why you’ve been asking all those strange questions lately? About how things are done without magic, and if I’d ever dated a Muggle…? I heard you talking to Nina about Squibs, too… was it all because you thought I wouldn’t like you anymore if I knew the truth?”

Wylan nodded again.

“Wylan…” Jesper took his hands gently, and the warm touch was enough for Wylan to open his eyes. “I fell in love with _you_ , not with the magic I thought you had.”

Looking into his gentle gaze was too painful, so Wylan stared past him instead. “But you love magic. You want me to be like you, someone who can do the same things. It… It’ll be too hard otherwise.”

“Questions like yours made me ask how I’d get to know someone well enough to want to date them if we weren’t in the same circles. This is different. I already know you, Wylan.”

“Even if you don’t hate Squibs, don’t you pity us, the way Nina does?” he asked, unable to disguise the bitterness in his voice. As much as he wanted to stay with Jesper, he couldn’t handle pity.

It took a moment before Jesper responded. “I feel bad that there are parts of our world you can’t really be part of. There are things I wish you could experience for yourself that you never will. And it hurts a lot to see how unhappy you are right now. But if you’re asking if I see you as unfortunate or lesser, no. You’re a great person, Wylan, and I know you can live a happy, fulfilling life exactly as you are.”

“But this isn’t how I _should_ be,” Wylan said. “Being like this is a mistake, a—”

“You are _not_ a mistake!”

Startled, he met Jesper’s gaze, uncertain why stating such a clear fact had apparently made him angry. “Don’t you see? If I’d been born with magic, everything would be better.” He would have gone to Hogwarts like his father wanted, and if he’d been able to read, he would have carried on the family name and reputation as intended. “It’s not like I think I’m worthless. I want to live, and I’d like to try to be happy… but there will always be something missing from me. Magic makes things easier and better, like you always say. Can’t you admit things would be better if I was a wizard?”

There was so much pain in Jesper’s face, Wylan wondered what he’d said wrong, but suddenly the other boy cracked a smile. “Hey, if you’d been born a wizard, you’d probably be some posh Ravenclaw who wouldn’t look twice at a slacker like me, so since meeting in Knockturn Alley brought us together, I am very selfishly happy you’re a Squib.”

That was the last thing Wylan expected him to say. He was right, if Wylan had gotten the happy, ideal life he’d always wanted, he probably would have grown up to be like his father. He’d never have befriended Jesper, certainly never kissed him. And… that was what mattered most to Jesper? It was so unlike what Wylan had expected, he started crying again. All that pain, all that worrying, and Jesper… would have accepted him from the start for who he was.

“H-Hey!” Jesper clutched Wylan’s hands tighter. “Don’t cry! I didn’t mean it like, like I’m _happy_ you don’t have magic! I mean, if it makes you unhappy, I’m not happy you’re unhappy! I didn’t mean it like that!”

With choked laughter through his tears, Wylan shook his head. “I know.”

“Then what do you say?” Jesper asked. “You’ll stick around, keep being my Wylan?”

There it was again. That casual endearment made Wylan glow inside. He drew a shaky breath and looked into Jesper’s eyes. “Don’t feel obligated. I’ll understand if you don’t want to date a—”

“Liar?” Jesper said before he could finish. “It’s a concern, but I have every confidence that you won’t lie to me about something major like that again.”

“That’s not what I was going to say,” Wylan said.

“I know, but it’s the only thing that could be an issue.”

“Are you sure? We won’t be at Hogwarts together. That will make things difficult.”

Jesper let go of Wylan’s hands and folded his arms. “Are you trying to politely break up with me?”

“No!”

“Because if you don’t want to be with me, I won’t pressure you into it.”

“I want to be with you,” Wylan whispered. “More than anything.”

“Then we’ll make it work.” Jesper wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close into a tight hug, holding him like he never wanted to let go. “I promise, we’ll make it work.”


	15. Chapter 15

Wylan woke up the next morning in a daze. He rolled over to look at Jesper, sound asleep in the other bed. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe. He could feel the phantom memory of Jesper’s arms around him, but…

His father had drummed it into his head over and over. Someone like him could never be seen as an _equal_. He’d always be lesser.

This was normally the time when Wylan would get up and eat breakfast with Colm, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. Lying there, time felt suspended. If he got up, he might need to face a reality where what happened the night before had only been a wonderful dream.

Surely he couldn’t have forgotten to leave and then dreamed about Jesper accepting him, but anxiety kept him rooted in place nevertheless.

Jesper stirred, and his eyes fluttered open. A sleepy smile crossed his face. “Morning, Wy.”

Wylan stared back him, paralyzed by fear. If it _was_ all a dream, he didn’t even know what he’d do. No one could truly love someone like him, his father had made sure he realized that, not the sort of genuine love he wanted.

Jesper sat straight up. “Wy? Is something wrong?”

“Last night…” He could barely force out the words. “I… We… It wasn’t a dream, right? We… talked about… something.”

The other boy’s gaze softened so much Wylan could have melted beneath it. “Yes, Wy.” He rolled out of bed and crossed the short distance between them to crouch alongside Wylan’s cot and lean in for a soft kiss. “You told me you’re a Squib, and I promised I still want to do sweet, sentimental, and downright inappropriate things with you.”

Unable to keep from smiling, Wylan stood up on shaky legs as his fear drained away. “When I woke up, I wasn’t sure it had really happened.”

Jesper straightened, his expression dark. “That’s right, I was about to go curse the man who made you feel this way about yourself.”

“Don’t.”

“He deserves it.” His jaw clenched, and his gaze grew darker still. “How hard it was for you tell me… and all the things I know about your past… I just… He deserves it, Wy!”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Wylan said.

“I’ll be fine.”

“He’s a powerful wizard.”

Jesper snorted. “Let’s see how powerful he is when he’s facing someone who can fight back.”

“He’s on the Hogwarts Board of Governors, Jes.”

That stopped him. “Seriously?”

“My real name is Wylan Van Eck. My father is Jan Van Eck.”

Jesper stared at him a moment, then deflated. “Well, that could cause some trouble, huh?” He frowned. “I’ve heard his name. People think he’s… _righteous._ ”

“Maybe he would be if he had a better son.”

“No.” Jesper put his hands on Wylan’s shoulders and drew him close. “This isn’t your fault.”

Wylan shuddered and huddled against him. Part of him wanted to argue, but he was so tired, so weary of defending his father’s views. For a change, he wanted to stop fighting and just dare to believe Jesper and Kaz were right.

“Anyone should be proud to have someone as wonderful as you as a son.” Jesper stroked his hair. “And speaking of which, we’ll have to tell Da the truth soon.”

Wylan swallowed hard. “Will he… mind me staying here?”

“Nah, I’m sure he won’t.”

“I won’t be going away for school, though. I’ll still be here.”

“He gets lonely anyway. I bet he’ll be happy to have someone around for a change. Besides, he likes you.”

Strangely, Wylan found that he really did believe him this time.

#

Nevertheless, he still froze when they joined Colm in the kitchen.

Jesper squeezed his shoulder. “Da, Wylan has something he’d like to talk to you about.”

Colm looked inquisitive, but not angry, and that made it easier.

“I’m not a Muggle-born wizard,” Wylan said, comforted by Jesper’s presence. “I’m sort of the opposite. I was born into a wizarding family, but I don’t have any magic.” He walked to the table and sat down, a little dizzy. “Everything I said about my family is more or less true, except in reverse. But that means… I won’t actually be going to Hogwarts with Jesper, so is it still okay for me to stay here?” He finished the rest in a rush.

Colm smiled. “I told you you’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”

Relieved, Wylan smiled back.

“I’ll get you some breakfast,” Jesper said.

While he took his place at the stove with the usual amount of levitating plates and inexplicable colors—it was nice to see Jesper hadn’t changed his routine after learning the truth, because it didn’t sting anymore if it didn’t matter to him—Colm sat down across from Wylan at the table.

“This will be difficult since I’m not your legal guardian,” he said, “but we’ll have to see about getting you enrolled in a Muggle school.”

“About that, um…” Wylan swallowed. “I haven’t had any sort of schooling for a few years.”

“What?”

“Since I was supposed to be at an overseas wizarding school—that’s what my father told everyone—no one could know I was around, so…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He hired tutors at first, but I had some… difficulties… so he thought there was no point…”

A clattering sound came from the stove.

Wylan jumped. Jesper was staring at him with such a stricken expression, he was half-afraid he might reconsider his decision not to attack someone on the Board of Governors. His lips pressed together and he gathered up the plates he’d dropped.

Colm looked like he was at a loss for words.

“Um.” Wylan ducked his head. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Colm said. “It’s not your fault. We’ll just… hmm…” He rubbed his chin. “Well, I’ve never homeschooled anyone, but it’s worth a try.”

Wylan looked up. “You’d teach me?”

“I can at least try to get you back on track to where you should be.”

“No, no, that won’t work.” He shook his head quickly. “I won’t be on track with where I should be. I can’t. That’s the problem. My reading and writing…” He trailed off helplessly, unable to finish the sentence with echoes of his father’s shouts ringing through his mind.

Colm looked from him to Jesper.

Jesper deposited a huge plate of waffles in front of Wylan. “What Wylan’s trying to say is that he has dyslexia.” He sat down and slid his chair over so he was close enough to stroke the back of Wylan’s hand. “And certain people didn’t understand that any more than they understood his lack of magic.”

“Oh,” Colm said. “All right, I’ll look up strategies for handling that.”

“You will?” Wylan asked, his voice smaller than he liked.

“Don’t worry, you won’t be in any trouble if it doesn’t go well. I just want to help you. Everything’s going to fine.”

“You can trust Da,” Jesper said. “I promise. Now eat the waffles I made for you.”

Hesitant, Wylan picked up his fork. “Aren’t you going to have breakfast?”

“Sure I am.” A fork floated over to Jesper, and he caught it from the air. “I’m going to steal some of your waffles.”

“Hey!” Wylan elbowed him as a forkful of waffles was claimed from his plate, and Jesper started laughing, and suddenly it felt like nothing between them had really changed at all.

#

“It was really hard for you to tell me, wasn’t it?” Jesper asked as they walked through Diagon Alley together.

Wylan nodded.

“If you aren’t ready to tell the others yet, I can cover for you.”

The offer was sweet, and it made him feel better. He took a deep breath. “I’d rather get it over with. With you and Kaz there to support me, it shouldn’t be too bad.”

Jesper stopped dead in his tracks.

Wylan blinked and turned to look at him.

“Kaz? You trusted _Kaz_ with the truth before you told me?”

“No, no, he recognized me when we met! He figured it out on his own, and I made him promise not to tell anyone.”

Considering how indignant Jesper seemed, it was probably best not to admit Kaz had to brow-beat Wylan into finally telling the truth.

Jesper started walking again. “I guess that explains some of the… weirdness between you two.”

“Yeah.” For the first time, his lies would no longer be hanging over them. “Things should be normal now.”

“Or as normal as things ever are with Kaz.”

He laughed.

At the group’s usual meeting spot, Inej, Nina, and Matthias were waiting for them as usual, but so was Kaz. He never joined them that early. He must have wanted to find out what Wylan’s decision was.

Did he expect to see him—or did he assume he’d be dealing with a heartbroken, lonely Jesper instead?

The thought maybe Wylan’s heart ache, and he reached out to take Jesper’s hand. Hurting Jesper like that… how had he even considered it?

Jesper squeezed his hand reassuringly as they joined the others. “Hey.”

“Is something going on?” Inej asked. “Kaz has been making cryptic comments all morning.”

Wylan looked past her to meet Kaz’s gaze. The other boy inclined his head in a nod that seemed faintly approving.

“I need to tell you all something,” Wylan said, grateful no one but Jesper was close enough to notice him trembling. His hand was like a warm anchor keeping Wylan from drifting away on waves of fear. If nothing else, he would always have Jesper. “I lied to you. I’m sorry.” It was getting easier to say every time. “I’m not a Muggle-born. I’m a Squib. My father considered me an embarrassment, so he… so I thought I had to lie for anyone to accept me.”

For a moment, no one said anything.

Then Inej stood up. “Of course we accept you, Wylan. I’m sorry you felt you had to lie to us.”

“That’s right,” Matthias said with a serious nod, then turned to Nina and whispered, “What’s a Squib?”

She, however, was looking at Wylan. “Oh Wylan, I’m so sorry about what I said the other day! I didn’t mean to imply you wouldn’t fit in. If you’re happy, I want you to keep on hanging out with us!”

He smiled so hugely he felt like his face might split. His heart pounded like he’d run a mile. He’d done it, he’d really done it, and he still had his friends.

Maybe there was a place for him after all.

#

“Well, this is it.”

Wylan stood with Jesper and Colm at Platform 9 ¾, where the Hogwarts Express was waiting. He’d never been there before, but he’d imagined what it would be like. Students and their families running around everywhere, friends shouting to one another, everyone talking at once…

Part of him wished he could get on the train and go to Hogwarts with them. A fist closed around his heart when he thought about everything he would miss.

But—he took a deep breath—it was okay. He looked up at Jesper and managed a smile. “Don’t forget about me.”

Jesper bent to kiss him. “Impossible.”

Not caring that they were in a station full of people, including Colm, Wylan wrapped his arms around Jesper and stretched up so he could kiss him back. He had Jesper, he had friends, and it was okay that he never would ride the train as a student.

“Try not to miss me too much,” Jesper said.

Wylan smiled. “That’s also impossible.”

“I’ll write often and work on perfecting that spell so you can listen to my letters yourself.”

“You don’t have to go through all that trouble for me.”

“But how else will I write all those dirty things I don’t want Da reading?”

“Jesper!” He elbowed him, laughing.

Jesper kissed him again. “Gonna miss you, Wy.”

“You better.” Wylan mostly disguised the quaver in his voice. “Don’t let anyone steal you away from me.”

“No one could. You’re in more danger of me bragging about you to everyone.”

Wylan blushed. “Just don’t use my name.”

“Wait, you mean I _can_ brag about you, as long as I don’t tell anyone your name?”

“I… I guess?” He’d never imagined someone would want to brag about him before. “If you really want to.”

Jesper grinned. “I better be careful, or someone will try to steal you from _me._ ”

Wylan hugged him one more time. “I’d never let them.” His thoughts drifted back to the night when he thought he’d never see him again. In comparison to that, a school term was nothing.

At last, he let go.

“I love you, Wy. I’ll think about you on all my adventures.” Jesper winked and turned to Colm. “Take care of him, Da.”

“We’ll be fine,” Colm said. “You focus on your studies, and please, please try not to get into too much trouble.”

Jesper put his hand over his heart. “Who, me?”

Colm hugged him, and Wy watched with a flicker of envy.

Then Jesper turned and started toward the Hogwarts Express.

“You know,” Colm said softly, “I know I can’t formally adopt you because of your father, but I do consider you my son.”

Wylan blinked at him, then smiled. He had Jesper, he had friends, and he had a new family, as well.

Together, he and Colm watched Jesper board the train and waved to him until the Hogwarts Express was out of sight.


	16. Chapter 16

_Dear Wylan,_

_Things are going well here at Hogwarts and I’m staying out of trouble, and no I’m_ not _just saying that because Da is reading this letter to you._

_I miss you all the time, especially when I go to sleep and can’t look over at you before I close my eyes. Then I remind myself you’re at home, probably smiling that sunny smile of yours, and I feel a little better._

_Gryffindor and Hufflepuff are playing each other in the first Quidditch match of the year, so you can imagine how Inej and Matthias are acting right now. Personally, my money’s on Gryffindor even though it’s not my House, because Inej’s flying has been in top form lately. She’s also been trying to promote awareness of prejudice against Squibs, and I think she’s making progress._

_Nina said I should tell you she aced the Potions assignment you helped her with. I’m starting to think maybe I should mail you my Potions homework to see what you can figure out (that’s a joke, Da)._

_Kaz is Kaz, of course. Nothing new there._

_Actually, scratch that, there_ is _something new. Normally he gathers information about other students and maybe professors, but lately he’s been prowling for any details he can find about the Board of Governors. Don’t ever tell him I said this, but I think Kaz has a soft spot for you, Wy. Or maybe he just hates your father._

_Anyway, I’m still working on the spell so my letters can read themselves out loud to you, but I couldn’t stand waiting that long to write._

_I hope you’re doing well. I can’t wait until the holidays come so I can see you again!_

_Love,  
Jesper_

#

_Dear Jesper,_

_The first thing you’ll probably notice about this letter is that it isn’t handwritten. I’m writing this (yes, me, personally!) using a Muggle machine Colm taught me how to use. It writes out what I say when I speak into it, and then transfers it onto a sheet of paper I can mail to you._

_I’ll have him double-check this letter when I’m done, because personally I have my doubts that such a thing is possible without magic. Still, we ran a couple tests earlier that came out fine, and he helped me work with it to improve its accuracy. It can read back my own words to me, too! Maybe the Muggles are ahead of us here. Anyway, I’m sitting in my room “writing” you a letter by myself, and that’s something I never thought I’d say._

_I miss you so much, but I’m actually doing pretty well. I thought I’d be sad to live like a Muggle, but this is a lot better than being locked in my room and hidden away from people. I was shocked when Colm said I could introduce myself to the neighbors if I wanted. They know I’m staying here because I come from a bad home, and they’ve been really nice to me._

_(It’s not like my father would ever come here, but I’m going by Wylan Hendriks just in case.)_

_I have a lot of work to catch up on because of how far behind I was, and we’re still figuring out this whole “home-schooling” thing, but I like it so far. I feel safe here._

_Reading and writing are a struggle, of course, but Colm is working on solutions like this to help me work around my difficulties. He says it’s okay if I don’t improve, even with the strategies he’s trying to figure out, because it’s not my fault. It might sound funny, but that makes me want to try more. I’d like to learn how to read, even if it will always be difficult, and knowing I won’t be in trouble if I can’t makes me comfortable enough to try._

_On the other hand, I love Chemistry, which is sort of like Muggle Potions. I’m not going to do your homework for you, but if you wanted to send me your Potions notes, please do! I also cut up one of your fireworks the other day—sorry about that. I’m buying more, so you can have a replacement._

_Well, this letter is pretty long and I’m sure your owl is getting impatient, so I guess it’s time to “print it out” (I really am in a whole new world here, aren’t I?) and have Colm tell me if it says what it’s supposed to._

_I miss you! I love you!_

_Yours forever,  
_ _Wylan_

#

Wylan greeted Colm with a smile in the morning and sat down to eat.

Breakfast was always an enjoyable part of the day, but the absolute best breakfasts were the ones when an owl arrived with a new letter from Jesper. Today, the owl dropped two letters on the table. One of them had much more writing on the outside than usual, in large print.

Colm glanced at it and laughed. “Jesper wrote ‘READ THIS ONE FIRST’ across the front of the envelope in all capital letters. I think he’s trying to tell us something.”

Wylan slid his chair over so he could sit alongside Colm while he read the letter. He didn’t know if looking at the words while hearing them read out loud made any difference, but at the very least, he liked admiring Jesper’s handwriting and knowing he’d written the letter for him.

Today’s letter looked shorter than usual.

Colm cleared his throat. “Dear Wylan, I think we perfected the spell today—thanks to you. Telling people Muggles invented something that can do something we can’t lit a fire under them to help us, hah! With any luck, Da is reading this letter to you first, because the second one will be able to read itself to you in my lovely voice. If it doesn’t work, let me know. Love, Jesper.”

Wylan reached out for the other envelope. “So then this one… I’m supposed to listen to?”

“That’s what it sounds like.”

He finished eating breakfast as fast as he could and then hurried with the precious letter to Jesper’s room. Sleeping in there without Jesper felt strange—and since it had become clear his staying with the Faheys was a permanent arrangement, they planned to replace his cot soon—but he’d secretly slept in Jesper’s bed a few times to feel closer to him. So far he hadn’t said that in his letters, but now that Jesper’s replies could be private, he might need to mention that little detail to hear his reaction.

Wylan opened the letter and held his breath.

The words on the page glowed slightly when he unfolded it. Then a quiet voice began to speak, slightly muffled and distorted, but recognizably Jesper. Hearing him made Wylan’s heart race.

“Hey Wy, this is going to be my first (okay, I really mean _latest_ ; the others got thrown away) attempt to enchant a letter that will read itself out loud to you without the recipient needing to do any magic. So I hope you’re hearing me right now. Just in case it doesn’t work like I think it will, I won’t say anything TOO embarrassing this time.

“I was so happy to read your last letter. You can cut up all the fireworks you want, and I’ll send you anything you like! Knowing you’re happy takes a huge weight off my mind. This might sound corny, but I think you’re starting to break out of the awful mindset your father put you in, and that’s what I want more than anything in the world.

“So I’m sure you’re wondering how someone as devilishly handsome as me is getting on at Hogwarts now that I’m no longer on the market. I’ve left a trail of broken hearts behind me! In all seriousness, Kuwei made a pass at me and I told him I’m dating someone already. That started some rumors, so I MIGHT have told the entire school I have a cute Squib boyfriend waiting for me at home. Don’t worry, I didn’t give your name, just like I promised.”

Wylan ran a hand over his burning cheeks. He could just imagine Jesper running around Hogwarts saying things like that… but embarrassing though it was, he almost wished they didn’t have to worry about his father so Jesper _could_ use his name.

“I hope it’s okay that I told them my boyfriend is a Squib,” the letter continued. “You don’t mind, right? If I just said I had a boyfriend, people would start asking why he wasn’t at Hogwarts, and I didn’t want to lie about you. I love you, Wy.

“Now, back to news from Hogwarts! I was right, Gryffindor crushed us in that Quidditch game. At least Inej isn’t the sort to rub it in. Classes are starting to get really serious, too, and Nina reminded me I’ll have to do well if I want to be an Auror. Looks like I have to do my homework after all…

“But when I’m not doing homework, I’m dreaming about you. I can’t wait until you’re in my arms again. Hugs and kisses from me to you, love, Jesper.”

Wylan flopped backward with a happy sigh. He felt deliriously in love, but he didn’t mind. Jesper was staying true to him despite the distance between them and everything that could get in the way, and so maybe this would all work out after all.

He lay there for a moment, thinking about everything Jesper said in his letter, and then scrambled out of bed to get the machine— _computer_ , Colm called it, a _computer_ —so he could compose his own message in return.

First he’d let Jesper know the spell worked fine, then he’d assure him he didn’t mind being bragged about as a “cute Squib boyfriend,” and then he could start talking about his own classes and progress.

And maybe he really would mention sleeping in Jesper’s bed.

#

The term continued with letters exchanged back and forth as Wylan got used to his new life and realized Muggles actually had a lot of interesting things despite their lack of magic. He slowly caught up on the studies he’d missed over the years, and made halting progress on learning to read and write while Colm patiently encouraged him.

Reading would always be a long, difficult process, but somehow that didn’t hurt anymore.

Wylan settled down to sleep in Jesper’s bed that night after printing out another letter to send to him the next time the owl arrived. Although his own bed was set to replace the cot soon, for now he was going to snuggle deep under the covers and dream about Jesper being there with him.

Soon. Winter holidays weren’t too far off.

He drifted into sleep with a smile on his face.

Only to wake up what felt like seconds later, to the inexplicable but persistent sound of someone rapping on the window.


	17. Chapter 17

Wylan sat straight up. The tapping sound continued. He turned to the window. Someone was on the other side of the glass. He rubbed his eyes and took a closer look, then rolled out of bed to open the window. “Inej?”

“Shh, keep your voice down.” Broomstick in hand, Inej crouched outside the Faheys’ house in her Hogwarts robes. She lifted a finger to her lips and spoke in a whisper. “I’m not supposed to be here.”

He glanced at the broomstick. “Did you fly all the way from Hogwarts?”

“I flew to Hogsmeade and then Apparated here. You can’t Apparate from the school grounds, so that seemed like the best option.”

“Why are you here?” Wylan’s heart pounded. Had something happened to Jesper? No, if that was the case, the school would have contacted Colm. Still, it had to be something important for Inej to come in person rather than send a letter. “What’s going on?”

“Kaz sent me for you,” she said.

Wylan frowned, and then his eyes widened as her meaning sunk in. “You mean, he sent you to _get_ me—to bring me back to Hogwarts with you?”

“That’s right.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “He said he’d explain once we were all together.”

Anxiety made Wylan hesitate. Sneaking into Hogwarts sounded like a bad idea, as much as he wanted to see his friends again. But Kaz wasn’t the sort to do things on a whim. If he wanted Wylan there, it had to be important. “Okay.”

Inej held out her hand. “Ready?”

He paused. “Should I tell Colm where I’m going?”

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”

True. Yet after everything that had happened, he couldn’t bring himself to disappear without a word. Colm had treated him with kindness and love ever since he started living there. He’d be incredibly worried if Wylan went missing.

Wylan didn’t want to put him through that pain. “Just a minute.”

He turned away from the window and walked to the desk where he kept his Muggle device—computer, he had to get used to calling it a computer—and brought up the software he used for his letters to Jesper. Using Muggle technology in front of a witch made him feel oddly exposed, but he shook away his discomfort and left a brief message telling Colm he was fine and would be back soon.

Then he carried the computer over to his bed and set it in front of the pillows. When morning came and Colm checked to see why he never came out from his room, it should be prominent enough for him to look at the screen.

Wylan returned to the window. “Okay, I’m ready.” He took a deep breath and climbed out to join Inej in the cool night air. A memory flashed through his mind of leaving the house when he planned to disappear forever, and he shivered. His life had changed so much since then.

“You’ve Apparated before, right?”

“Yes, with Jesper.”

“Then let’s go.”

#

After Apparating into Hogsmeade, they traveled the rest of the journey by broomstick with Wylan riding behind Inej. That gave him time to think. Despite his best efforts, his nervousness grew the longer the journey went on. Not only was he sneaking into Hogwarts, but he’d see Jesper again for the first time since the term began.

Talking through letters was a lot different than seeing each other in person, and it didn’t escape his attention that it was Inej who came for him, not Jesper.

“How’s Jesper doing?” he asked, hoping he sounded casual.

“Staying out of trouble—more or less.”

More or less… maybe that was why he didn’t come. Wylan bit his lip. He didn’t want to sound jealous or paranoid by asking.

“He wanted to come for you himself,” Inej said, apparently guessing his unspoken question, “but we figured I had the best chance of getting in and out unseen.”

The reassurance eased Wylan’s concerns. “Will I see him soon?”

“Yep. Kaz wants us all to meet as soon as you’re at Hogwarts.”

He still had so many questions, but he held them back. Inej probably didn’t know much more than she’d already told him. It could wait until he saw Kaz.

As the cool air blew Wylan’s curls back from his face, he made a mental note to ask Jesper to take him flying again sometime. That had been fun, and he wanted to do it again without the worries that plagued him the last time.

Then the castle came into view, and Wylan gasped.

Hogwarts was massive and beautiful, a towering castle with expansive grounds that stretched out around it. The windows were dark due to the late hour, but he could imagine what they’d look like alight with candles. His heart ached. How he’d longed to approach Hogwarts. He’d dreamed of this moment, but never thought he’d see it and still know he’d never be a student there.

Even so, the sight was breathtaking.

“Now comes the stealthy part,” Inej said.

She flew to one of the castle’s towers, circled it once while Wylan looked around in an attempt to see everything at once, and then landed. He got off the broomstick on wobbly legs.

“We need to be quiet once we get inside,” she said. “We probably shouldn’t talk until we reach our destination.”

“Where are we going?”

“Down to the dungeon.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“I know,” she said with a sigh, “you’d think we’d meet somewhere better, but Kaz has a unique talent for clearing out an entire room with a glare, so if we need to discuss something secret, the Slytherin common room is our best bet.”

“And this is a secret?” Wylan asked.

She glanced at him. “I snuck out of Hogwarts at night in order to smuggle someone who isn’t a student into the castle. What do you think?”

Wylan sighed. “Definitely secret.”

#

Down in the dungeon, Inej stopped abruptly in front of what appeared to be a dead end and cleared her throat. “Dead men tell no tales.”

A secret door in the apparent dead end opened onto the Slytherin common room.

“ _Really_?” Wylan asked, as they stepped inside. “That’s the password?”

“You said it yourself,” Inej said, “remember?”

He frowned at her for a moment, then laughed as he realized what she was getting at. “Right. Slytherins are scary.”

A derisive snort from inside the room greeted his statement, and Kaz stalked into view. “Perhaps you’d like to see how scary I can be.”

“I missed you too, Kaz,” Wylan said.

A startled laugh drew his attention to Nina, sitting on the common room couch, and she pressed her hand against her mouth to muffle her laughter.

Kaz just shook his head.

“No trouble on the way in,” Inej said.

“Good.”

While they talked, Wylan looked around at the room. It was grim and rather sinister, but the forbidding architecture had a strange beauty of its own. His fingers itched to start sketching it. With the freedom he had at Colm’s house, he’d gotten into art again, and he wanted to draw everything here to capture his memories of this trip to Hogwarts forever.

Behind him, the entrance to the common room opened again.

“This is against every rule of the school,” Matthias grumbled. “Sneaking around at night, going into another house’s common room, bringing in someone who isn’t a student—I don’t know how you talked me into this.”

“Just keep walking,” Jesper said from behind him. “It’s for Wy—”

Their gazes met.

“Wylan!” Jesper pushed past Matthias and ran the rest of the way, throwing his arms around Wylan in a tight embrace.

Until that moment, Wylan hadn’t been aware of just how _much_ he missed Jesper. He hugged him back and pressed his face against his neck. “Jesper, it’s so good to see you.” Sending letters back and forth wasn’t the same at all. He tightened his grip. His boyfriend’s body felt solid against him, his arms strong, his scent familiar and comforting. “Jesper…”

A tiny fear had burned inside of him that despite their promises and letters, the months apart would make Jesper forget him and their reunion would be awkward. Jesper’s embrace crushed that spark of fear into nothing.

Buoyed by his restored hope, Wylan lifted his head and kissed Jesper.

Instead of returning it, Jesper broke away for a low whistle. “My Wylan taking the initiative with an _audience_? I must have been missed. What else do I get in exchange for my glorious presence?”

“Shut up and kiss me,” Wylan said.

Jesper complied.

His kiss was passionate enough to make up for the interruption, and Wylan melted against him. He didn’t care that the others were watching. All that mattered was kissing Jesper, preferably again and again and again.

With a chuckle, Jesper lifted him into the air and twirled him in a slow circle. Wylan yelped in protest, but Jesper swallowed it with another kiss. That was fine. His heart was racing, but as long as Jesper kept kissing him, he could do anything else he wanted. Wylan could keep kissing Jesper all night—

“ _Ahem._ ”

Wylan glanced away from Jesper.

Kaz scowled. “I didn’t go through all the trouble of having you brought here just so you could make out with Jesper.”

He blushed scarlet and reluctantly broke the embrace, although Jesper kept one arm wrapped around him as they sat down together. Inej was smirking, Nina watched them with a huge grin, and Matthias looked nearly as embarrassed as Wylan felt.

Maybe they had gotten a little carried away. That didn’t stop Wylan from snuggling against Jesper on the couch, though. Once he was comfortable, he looked at Kaz. “So what’s going on?”

“It had better be important enough to justify all this rule-breaking,” Matthias said.

“And if it isn’t,” Jesper said, “please get it over with quickly so my darling and I can go back to making out.”

Wylan elbowed him.

“We could learn from their example,” Nina said with a meaningful look toward Matthias, who looked utterly mortified by her comment.

“Not in public, that’s—”

Kaz cleared his throat again.

Everyone fell silent and looked at him. Wylan’s heart pounded. He’d gotten caught up in the excitement of seeing Hogwarts and reuniting with Jesper, but he couldn’t forget that he’d been brought to Hogwarts for a reason. They wouldn’t go to such lengths because they missed him. This had to be serious—and important enough to call him in.

“The funny thing about dead bodies,” Kaz said, “is that when you expect one to be found, there’s only so long you can wait before you start to wonder if something went wrong.”

At first Wylan didn’t understand what he was talking about, and then the meaning struck him like a bucket of cold water.

Kaz met his gaze. “Your father is looking for you.”


	18. Chapter 18

Wylan stared at Kaz in horror.

He’d wanted to believe he was safe. He’d escaped his father and made a new life for himself. He had Jesper, he had friends, he had a _family_. He’d found a new understanding that maybe being Wylan Van Eck wasn’t such a terrible thing after all.

But if there was one person who could take all of that away from him, it was his father.

“Wait a minute,” Nina said, her eyes wide, “what’s all this about dead bodies and Wylan’s father?”

Of course, he’d told them who he was, but not the full story. They didn’t understand. But he couldn’t speak. Couldn’t get the words to come out. He shook, unable to stop himself from trembling.

No, no, _no._

“Wy?” Jesper asked gently. “Should I…?”

He jerked his head in a nod.

Jesper wrapped his arm tighter around him. “The day we saved Wylan in Knockturn Alley, his father had tried to kill him.”

“He tried to _kill_ you?” Inej sounded furious. “That’s monstrous!”

“He has a reputation to maintain,” Wylan said bitterly. “A reputation with no room for illiterate Squib sons.”

“Wy—” Jesper began.

But Matthias spoke over him. “My parents were displeased when they learned I was a wizard. At first, they thought they could make me suppress it, and when that didn’t work they tried to keep it a secret—but for all they did, they never wanted me dead.”

Wylan looked up. He could see in their faces that every single one of them considered his father’s actions to be inexcusable. No one thought, even for a minute, that it had been justified.

The pain in his chest eased, if only a little. He wasn’t alone this time.

“Your father was waiting to put on a good show and pretend to mourn for you,” Kaz said, his tone flat and emotionless. “But no one ever found your body, so he became suspicious.”

Wylan shuddered and pressed against Jesper for comfort. “What is he doing?”

Kaz held out a sheet of paper. “He says you’ve gone missing, possibly kidnapped.”

It was a poster for a missing person, with a picture of Wylan in the center. Unlike the photo he’d taken with Jesper, the Wylan on the poster was sad and sullen, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else. Jesper took one look at the picture and squeezed Wylan closer.

“These posters are starting to circulate around wizarding communities,” Kaz said. “Since you weren’t exactly in hiding after you fell in with us, I doubt it will be too long before someone recognizes the picture.”

Wylan swallowed hard. “Plenty of people in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade saw me.”

“I gave my name at Dervish and Banges,” Jesper said with a sharp breath. “If anyone remembers—”

“It’s not safe for Wylan at your house anymore,” Kaz said. “That’s why I had him brought here.”

Jesper stiffened. “Do you think he’ll go after Da?”

“Colm doesn’t know where I am,” Wylan said. “I left a message saying I’d be back soon, but not where I was going.”

“But if Van Eck thinks he knows something…”

He squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want to think about anyone being hurt because of him.

“I doubt he’ll go that far,” Inej said. “Attacking a Muggle is too likely to cause an investigation. He won’t risk that sort of attention. Grabbing Wylan if he found him there is another story.”

“Then what are we going to do?” Nina asked. “We can’t let him get Wylan.”

“Well,” Jesper said with a grin, “since we’re already breaking a thousand rules, let’s find a place at Hogwarts where a wayward non-student can stay.”

#

“Welcome,” Jesper said, “to the Room of Requirement.”

Wylan followed him into what appeared to be an ordinary room in the castle, furnished with a couch, a bed, and a table, and gave him a quizzical look.

“It turns into whatever you need when you’re looking for it—in this case, a comfortable place where you can stay, and which no one can enter unless it’s one of us or someone we give permission to.”

Those sorts of restrictions should be enough to keep him safe. Nevertheless, he shivered.

He thought it was slight enough to escape Jesper’s attention, but the other boy’s expression changed in an instant. Jesper shut the door and stepped close, putting his hands on Wylan’s shoulders. “We’ll protect you, Wy.”

“I know.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Wylan looked away.

“Whatever it is, I’ll make it better.” Jesper’s arms slowly encircled him and drew him into an embrace. “I promise.”

His closeness was intoxicating, a deep warmth that filled Wylan with a sense of calm. He rested his head against Jesper’s chest. Standing together with him, he didn’t have any worries at all. He wished they could stay like this forever.

Jesper ran his fingers through his hair. “Everything’s going to be okay, Wy.”

“I just…” It felt silly to say it out loud, but Wylan found himself talking anyway. “I don’t want to be hidden away in a room again.”

For a long moment, Jesper didn’t say anything. Then he hugged Wylan tighter. “Oh Wy, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think—”

“I understand that we have to do this. I don’t want my father to find me, and I know it’s too dangerous for me to be out in the open right now. I know this is a safe place, but still, it feels… too close.”

Too close to once again being the shameful secret that no one could be allowed to see.

Jesper stepped back and looked into his eyes. “I understand. I understand how it might feel like that again. But there are three big differences this time. You know what they are?”

Wylan could guess at least one, but anything he might say felt weak in the face of his growing anxiety, so he waited for Jesper to answer instead.

“First, we love you and don’t want to see you get hurt. You’ve got a lot of people pulling for you right now, Wy, and we won’t let anything happen to you.”

He knew that. But his father always claimed to be locking him away out of love, too, to spare him the shame of having his secret discovered.

“Second, we’ll all check in on you regularly and bring you food and hang out with you whenever we can, so it’s not really like you’ll be alone.”

That was certainly different. Wylan managed a tiny smile.

“And third…” Jesper fixed him with a serious look. “Your father kept you hidden because he was ashamed of you, but if I had my way, I’d introduce you to absolutely everyone at Hogwarts to make them all jealous of what a cute, kind boyfriend I have.”

Wylan blushed.

“None of that ‘let’s pretend you’re a wizard’ nonsense either,” Jesper said. “Everyone knows I’m dating a Squib, and if they have a problem with that, it’s on them, not you.”

Sincerity rang through his every word.

“So can you do it, Wy? Will you stay here until it’s safe?”

The thought of the door closing and leaving him alone in the tiny room, unable to go out, still preyed on his mind, but Jesper’s kindness was a counterbalance. He trusted Jesper. Jesper wouldn’t hurt him. “I will,” he whispered.

“Thank you.” Jesper bent his head and kissed him. “I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you.”

Wylan kissed him back and savored the taste of his lips. He kissed him again.

After one last squeeze, Jesper released him and took a step toward the door. “I need to get back to my dormitory.”

A pang of disappointment made Wylan’s heart ache. “Already?”

“Normally I wouldn’t care if anyone caught me breaking the rules—but in this case, it might lead someone to you. Don’t worry, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Wylan swallowed hard. “Okay.”

Then Jesper left. The door shut behind him.

And Wylan was alone.

#

He wanted to sleep, but he spent the entire night prowling the room due to the anxiety of being locked up again. There were no windows. He was trapped in a room with a locked door and no windows.

Wylan forced himself to take deep breaths. He wasn’t imprisoned, he was being protected. There was a difference. Jesper promised. He trusted Jesper.

Still, the fear and memories crept in whenever he let down his guard, and he continued to pace well into the morning.

After what felt like an eternity, the door opened. Wylan whirled to face it with mingled fear and anticipation—Jesper? Or had he been discovered?

It turned out to be Nina.

She closed the door and hurried to the table. “I can’t stay long, but I brought you as much breakfast as I could smuggle out.” She reached into the pockets of her robes and pulled out a pile of sausages and rolls wrapped in a large napkin.

Wylan’s stomach growled. “Thank you!”

“No problem. How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay,” he said with a forced smile, rather than admit what a miserable night he’d had after Jesper left.

“Good. Hang in there.”

Then she left, and Wylan was alone again, but having his first visitor made things a little easier to bear. He sat down and started to eat.

The door opened again.

Wylan looked up from his half-eaten roll.

Inej entered the room with a cup of coffee and a bucket of water. “Everyone thinks I’m putting out a fire,” she said.

“Do I want to know?”

“It was Jesper’s idea.”

“I don’t want to know.”

She laughed and set down the coffee in front of him, then put the bucket on the table. “We figured this was the best way to get a supply of water to you.”

He nodded. Sneaking drinks out was probably a lot harder than bringing him food.

Inej watched him for a minute. “I can tell you’re struggling with this.”

He looked away. “I know it’s necessary. I’m fine.”

“You’re strong, Wylan. You can pull through this, and we’ll all be there beside you.”

Strong?

No one ever said he was strong before.

He was still pondering that long after she left.

#

His days soon fell into a routine. One of his friends always showed up with food shortly after each meal. Jesper popped in whenever he could, once to read the letter he was writing to him in order to keep up the illusion that he didn’t know where Wylan was, and always with at least a brief cuddle before he had to leave.

One day, two unfamiliar Slytherins popped in and nearly gave Wylan a heart attack until the girl said, “Brekker sent us,” and dropped off some food on the table.

Even Matthias showed up with a grumbled comment about how he was breaking too many rules before gruffly asking if Wylan was doing all right and if he needed anything.

They brought him things to pass the time with—paper to draw on, Potions ingredients to experiment with, and even _homework_ courtesy of Matthias, much to Jesper’s amusement. Soon Wylan had a stack of sketches of the castle and a better understanding of a Squib’s limitations when it came to Potions.

It was a tolerable way to live, even though his anxiety hadn’t quite left entirely.

Then the door opened and Kaz stepped in.

Wylan stopped in the middle of drawing a portrait of Jesper. He straightened up. Kaz had yet to visit, preferring to operate through a handful of Slytherins he apparently trusted enough to delegate tasks to.

For him to show up in person now, it had to be important.

Kaz limped across the room and sat across from him. “Your father is redoubling his efforts to find you. He’s under some pressure due to people asking how your supposed overseas school is handling the situation. You can thank Nina for that one. She put the idea out there, and now everyone is questioning exactly what school it is.”

“That won’t be enough to stop him,” Wylan said.

“I know. Yet there are ways to force even a man like him to reveal his true colors.”

His heart leaped. “Then you have a plan?”

“That depends,” Kaz said. “Do you trust me?”


	19. Chapter 19

Wylan shivered in the night air. He stood alone on the streets of Hogsmeade, gaze fixed on the stars in the sky. The nearby alleys were dark and abandoned, nowhere near as hospitable as when he and Jesper visited. According to a clock nearby, it was quarter to ten.

The medallion he wore concealed beneath his shirt felt cold against his skin. It brought an eerie sense of déjà vu. He reached up to touch the chain around his neck. Trusting Kaz felt like a gamble, but at the same time, Wylan didn’t think the other boy would sell him out. Not over something like this, anyway.

“I’ve found you.”

The sound of his father’s voice made Wylan whirl around.

Wand pointed straight at him, his father advanced toward him down the street. His gaze was cold, his face merciless. A triumphant smile twisted his lips.

Everything rushed back—all the fear, all the humiliation, all the _shame_ Wylan felt every day in that house. All the times his father used a hex on him as punishment, or shouted at him, or told him what a worthless, disappointing son he was. Wylan struggled to keep breathing as the memories overwhelmed him.

Then he turned and ran.

A burst of panic-fueled adrenaline carried him through the dark streets, around one corner and then the next, but his father’s footsteps followed right behind him. Wylan gritted his teeth and tried to run faster—

“ _Locomotor mortis._ ”

He yelled as his legs fused together and he toppled to the ground. Impact with the street stung and scraped his skin, but he twisted and managed to roll over to face his father again. The clock was still visible. It was five minutes to ten.

His father sneered at him. “Did you really think you could get away from me?”

Wylan swallowed hard. Fear clouded his mind and made it difficult to think. He’d gotten too used to his new home with Colm, who never laid a hand on him except for a hug or comforting pat on the shoulder. He’d forgotten what it felt like to be at the mercy of someone who could and would hurt him.

“You escaped me once,” his father said, his voice low, “but it won’t happen again.”

Wylan braced himself and reached up to the medallion. This had to work, it _needed_ to work. Kaz said it had a radius of a few inches in which it could still function.

“What do you have there?” Eyes narrowed, his father crouched alongside him, then laughed in disbelief. “Are you actually stupid enough to think a Squib could use a magical artefact? Whoever told you that was taking advantage of you.”

Wylan clasped his hand protectively over the precious artefact, but his father kicked his hand aside and pulled the medallion out from under his shirt. He wrenched it free, even though the metal from its chain cut into Wylan’s skin and made him wince.

His father gave the medallion a dismissive look and shook his head. It vanished into his robes, and he straightened to look down at Wylan from above again. “This is over.”

Wylan’s heart leaped into his throat. “Help! Someone!”

“Who do you think is going to hear you? The only person out tonight was the one who turned you in, and I paid a hefty sum for his silence. He won’t be troubling us.”

He scrambled backward, but his father just shook his head and kept advancing.

The clock struck ten.

This was it. Either the plan would work, or he was doomed.

His father followed his gaze. “Why do you keep looking at the clock? Do you expect someone to save you? I’ve wasted enough time here. We’re going home.”

Wylan wet his lips. “Wait… Father, please—”

“You’re actually going to beg?”

“No, I… I wasn’t kidnapped…”

“I know that, you imbecile!”

“I only ran away because I was afraid.” Wylan swallowed hard. He felt lightheaded, and his stomach churned. “Please, Father, I have to know… did you try to kill me?”

His father sneered at him. “Of course I did, you miserable Squib.”

Hearing it out loud hurt, even though Wylan already knew it was true. He blinked away sudden tears.

“Cry all you want,” his father said. “This time, I won’t make any mistakes.”

“Now that is a disturbing conversation to overhear.”

His father spun around. A wizard wearing Ministry robes stepped out into the street. Several others, all from the Ministry of Magic, followed right behind him. Wylan exhaled slowly. The meeting had let out at ten, just as Inej said it would.

The lead wizard’s eyes widened further as he took in the scene. “You’re… Jan Van Eck? From the Hogwarts Board of Governors? Did I just hear you say you tried to kill your son?”

His father’s eyes bulged. He turned his hate-filled glare to Wylan, but then smoothed it away with a polite mask like he always did when they were in public. “Yes I—” He snapped his mouth shut and looked at Wylan again. “ _You._ What did you do?” He reached into his robes and pulled out the medallion he’d ripped from around Wylan’s neck. “This!” He threw it to the ground. “That’s what made me say those things! This is a plot against me!”

One of the Ministry wizards knelt to pick up the artefact. “It’s not Dark Magic. We’ll need to find out what it does.”

His father clenched his hands into fists. “You wouldn’t dare take words spoken under the influence of magic as proof against me.”

“Certainly not.” The first wizard crouched alongside Wylan and undid the Leg-Locker Curse. He helped him to his feet. “Of course, we can’t let your son go with you, either. We’ll need to take you both into custody until we get to the bottom of this.”

“What?” his father snapped, his expression enraged. “Will you let my reputation be tarnished because of his lies?!”

“If you’ve done nothing wrong, there will be no damage to your reputation, I assure you.” The other wizard paused. “Although it is curious that you’ve apparently spent years hiding the fact that your son is a Squib.”

Disbelief shone from his father’s face. His shoulders sagged. Apparently he realized this was the end. As three of the Ministry wizards led him away, he tossed one last glare back at Wylan. “What did I ever do to be cursed with a son like you?”

#

It was a tense couple of hours after that. Wylan was taken to a room at the Ministry of Magic and told to sit and wait while they looked into his case and questioned his father. In that time, he imagined all sorts of terrible things, from his father convincing them that it was all a misunderstanding to the Ministry deciding that it was okay to kill Squibs.

Next to the slight chance that his father might have simply decided to murder him on sight, this was the riskiest part of the plan, the fear that the Ministry might choose to believe Jan Van Eck and turn Wylan over after all.

But the interview with his father must have gone poorly, because when the wizard in charge of the inquiry returned, it was with a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate that he held out to Wylan with a kind smile.

Wylan wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and accepted the cup. His chill was more from fear than the actual temperature, but it was comforting nevertheless.

“We’ve consulted the Hogwarts records,” the wizard said, “and confirmed that you were never considered eligible for acceptance due to being a Squib, despite your father claiming for years you were studying at an overseas wizarding school. Now he says he lied to protect you from ridicule, since there is still prejudice against Squibs.”

“But—”

The wizard held up his hand. “We’re not going to let anyone hurt you. I want you to tell me everything.”

“You can use Legilimency on me if you want,” Wylan said. “Or Veritaserum, or anything else.” He’d practiced what he would say many times while waiting. Although he hated the thought of having his mind laid bare for a stranger, it was better than the terrifying possibility of being placed in his father’s hands again.

“That won’t be necessary. Those methods are a last resort. For now, just tell me what happened in your own words.”

Wylan nodded and took a deep breath.

He started from the beginning, with his father’s disappointment that he was a Squib, the lie about his overseas school, and the tiny room where he was kept hidden away from everyone. He clutched his mug tightly and spoke about the trip to Diagon Alley, his terrified flight from the man who tried to kill him, and how a group of Hogwarts students saved his life.

The sympathetic look on the Ministry man’s face gave Wylan more confidence, and he took a drink of his hot chocolate before continuing. He left out the part about lying to his friends in shame and jumped straight to the friendships he’d made, Kaz’s warning that his father had realized he might still be alive, and their plan to use the rare truth-revealing artefact in a final gambit to have his father reveal his truth nature in front of witnesses.

“One of my friends knew wizards from the Ministry of Magic were meeting in Hogsmeade tonight,” Wylan said. “So I went out and waited for my father to find me, to have witnesses nearby.”

The wizard nodded. “We’ve confirmed that the artefact in question forces the bearer to tell the truth. Your story adds up, and Jan Van Eck’s claims are filled with holes.”

Wylan took a deep breath. “What happens now?”

“For attempted murder and his other crimes, he’ll be put away for a long time. The only real question now is what to do with you. We weren’t able to find any other living relatives in your records. Your stepmother is a possibility, but perhaps not the best one…”

“Um…”

“Yes? Do you have a suggestion?”

“I’ve been staying with a man named Colm Fahey,” Wylan said. “He’s a Muggle who married a witch. His son Jesper is a student at Hogwarts, one of the friends who helped me. I… I’d like to stay with him, if possible.”

The wizard looked surprised, but nodded. “Just a minute.”

He left, but stayed just outside the door.

Anxious, Wylan moved closer and strained to hear the wizards conversing.

“…might be healthy for him to have a Muggle guardian, since he’s a Squib…”

“…if this Colm Fahey is willing, I don’t see why not…”

Satisfied, Wylan sat back down and finished his hot chocolate. For the first time since Kaz told him the news, he felt like he could breathe.

#

“It’s all settled,” the wizard told him. “We got in touch with Mr. Fahey through Floo powder, and he agreed immediately. As soon as the paperwork goes through, someone will take you out there.”

Happiness made Wylan lightheaded. “Thank you!”

“All that’s left is to find a place for you to stay for the night. We could arrange for a room at The Three Broomsticks, unless you had a different idea.”

With everything going his way, he couldn’t help but feel a little bold. He cleared his throat. “Actually…”


	20. Chapter 20

Jesper was waiting at the Hogwarts entrance hall when Wylan arrived. “I thought it was a prank when I was told to meet Wylan Van Eck and take him back to my common room! How did you get them to go along with this?”

Wylan grinned. “I guess they felt bad for me after everything my father did.” And maybe a little of that poor-unfortunate-Squib pity, which rankled, but he’d take advantage of it just this once to get his way. “How can you deny someone who only wants to spend a single night at Hogwarts?”

Jesper wrapped his arm around his shoulders and tugged him close. “Everything’s settled, then?”

“Yes. The plan worked.”

“What happens now?”

“I’ll be going back to your da’s place tomorrow,” Wylan said. “He’s officially my guardian now.”

“That’s fantastic!” Jesper looked stunned. “That’s even better than I was expecting.”

Wylan nodded. He could hardly believe things were finally working out. “I got permission to stay with you until the paperwork goes through.”

His boyfriend bent his head and kissed him on the lips. “Then we’ll have to make the most of the time we have together.”

#

Wylan followed Jesper into the dormitory he shared with Matthias and three other Hufflepuff students, who looked up with curiosity as they entered.

“What happened, Jesper?”

“Who’s that boy with you?”

“Is he a new student?”

Before Wylan could say anything, Jesper placed one hand on his waist and ushered him forward. “This is Wylan Van Eck, my boyfriend.”

“Oh wow,” one of them said. “So this is him.”

Another stuck his hand out. “Nice to meet you! Is it true you’re a genius at Potions even though you can’t do magic?”

“What’s he doing here?” the third stranger asked. “I didn’t think he could go to Hogwarts.”

Apparently Jesper really _had_ told his classmates all about him. Wylan stared at them, overwhelmed by all the attention.

Matthias cleared his throat. “We should be sleeping right now, you know. I’m sure Wylan wants to get some rest, too.”

Wylan gave him a grateful smile. “Yes. Yes I would.”

“Well Wy,” Jesper said, “considering there’s only five beds, looks like you and I have no choice but to—”

Matthias cleared his throat again, loudly enough to cut him off, and then nodded at the other side of the room.

Where only one empty bed had sat when they entered, now a second empty bed sat alongside it.

“Oh come on,” Jesper said, with a glare for the walls. “Even the _building_ is working against me?”

Despite his pouting, however, he didn’t object anymore as they walked to their respective beds and sat down. It was almost like old times again—except with Matthias and three other boys watching them the entire time.

Audience or not, Wylan leaned across the gap and kissed Jesper on the cheek. “Good night, Jesper.” Heat flooded his cheeks, but he didn’t regret it.

“Night, Wy.”

Then he climbed into his temporary bed, closed his eyes, and drifted into sleep with the thrill of getting to sleep in a Hogwarts dormitory for the first time in his life—and the security of knowing he was truly safe from his father at last.

#

In the morning, Wylan ate breakfast with Jesper and the others. It didn’t take long for the news to spread throughout the entire hall that there was someone sitting at the Hufflepuff table who wasn’t a student. Soon it felt like everyone was staring at him.

“Are you coming to my classes with me?” Jesper asked.

Wylan hesitated. No one said he couldn’t, and he had a little time before he’d leave for Colm’s, but attending classes where everyone but him could do magic sounded even more uncomfortable than being watched by the entire Great Hall. “I’d like to go to Potions, if you have that in the morning.”

“I do! And after that I have Muggle Studies, so maybe you should attend. You might learn something useful.”

“I didn’t know you were interested in Muggle Studies.” It always seemed like Jesper had little interest in the Muggle world, despite his own ties to it. Besides, surely living with a Muggle father in a Muggle neighborhood meant he didn’t _need_ to learn those things in a class.

“Ah, well…” Jesper rubbed the back of his neck. “If you’re going to be using computers and stuff, I figured I could learn some things to help…”

Wylan stared at him, then smiled and leaned up to kiss him. “You’re the best.”

#

In Potions, Wylan listened to the lecture with rapt attention and gave Jesper advice on how to successfully mix up his potion even though he couldn’t do it himself, and he also made sure the Ravenclaw named Kuwei understood in no uncertain terms that Jesper was taken.

Then they went to Muggle Studies, which Jesper had joint with Gryffindor, and he sat between Jesper and Inej to take in all the details about the new world Colm was trying to guide him into.

Jesper was more than eager to introduce Wylan to everyone they met—and since he had indeed spoke about him before, that meant pretty much everyone in Hogwarts knew Wylan was a Squib before the morning was up.

Yet it didn’t seem to matter, with Jesper by his side. It wasn’t as though he wanted to lie about it anymore.

A handful of Slytherins started to give him a hard time, but when Kaz entered the room and greeted him with a nod and a simple “You’re looking well, Van Eck,” that was enough to quell them.

And as soon as Jesper had some free time, he took Wylan on a grand tour of the castle. He showed him secret passages and moving staircases and all the wonderful, magical things Wylan had always dreamed he’d see at Hogwarts. He clung to each memory and tried to memorize everything he saw so he could draw it later.

Finally, the two of them sat down by the lake together to wait for Wylan’s escort to arrive.

Jesper stretched out in the grass, and Wylan rested his head against his shoulder. “Jesper?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you take me to see a Quidditch match someday?”

“Of course.”

“A real one between professional teams?”

Jesper laughed. “If that’s what you want, I’ll make sure to save up enough money so we can go. We’ll take the omnioculars and everything.”

“We should go back to Hogsmeade sometime, too,” Wylan said.

“Anytime.”

It was strange, but even though he was about to leave Hogwarts and probably never see it again, so many other things that once felt out of reach forever were now perfectly within his grasp. Watching a Quidditch match or visiting Hogsmeade weren’t one-time dreams, but regular activities he could do without fear as long as he had someone to take him there.

“There must be fun destinations in the Muggle world, right?” Wylan asked. “Maybe Colm can tell me about them. I’ll find a nice place to take you.”

“You can take me anywhere.” Jesper snickered. “And I mean that in every sense of the phrase.”

Wylan elbowed him.

“Seriously, though, I’d love to go. Anywhere you want.”

Anywhere.

He could go anywhere.

A whole new future had opened up for him. He didn’t have to be constrained to the roles his father saw for him or live in fear of being discovered. He could go places, meet people, do everything he hoped to—with Jesper by his side.

It wasn’t a dream anymore.

Wylan tilted his head to look up at Jesper.

“Admiring this beautiful face?” Jesper turned and cupped Wylan’s cheek gently. “Let me do some admiring, too.”

Then he kissed him.

It was a long, sweet kiss that took Wylan’s breath away, but when they separated, he couldn’t help but say, “That was a little more than ‘admiring’ me.”

“Depends on what part of you I want to admire,” Jesper said with a smirk.

Wylan considered trying to come up with a clever comeback, but gave up and kissed him again instead. They settled down together in each other’s arms and looked out over the surface of the lake.

“Hogwarts is really beautiful,” Wylan said.

“I’m glad you got to see it.”

“Me too.”

Jesper was silent for a moment. Then he said softly, “Are you sad?”

“I’m free from my father,” Wylan said. It still felt unreal. “I’ve never been happier in my life.”

His boyfriend’s expression didn’t change. “But about leaving—are you sad?”

“I’ll miss you.” He grinned. “Then again, I thought I’d be waiting for you at home until the holidays came, so this is a little visit I didn’t expect to have at all. You’ll keep writing letters?”

“Always,” Jesper said. “Enchanted to read themselves to you in my sexy voice.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Wy.”

Across the castle grounds, movement caught Wylan’s eye. A wizard from the Ministry of Magic had arrived. It was time for him to go home. He sighed and stood up. “I guess this is it.”

Jesper followed his gaze, then stood up as well. Before Wylan could move, Jesper drew him close and kissed him again. Secure within Jesper’s arms, Wylan kissed him back. He wanted this to go on forever. The holidays already felt too far away.

When they separated, he looked into Jesper’s eyes and smiled. “Write soon.”

His boyfriend’s expression remained serious. “Are you sure you’re not sad? That you have to leave the castle, I mean?”

The concern in his voice made Wylan realize what he was really asking.

Not about this particular departure, but that it would be forever.

That Wylan would never attend Hogwarts as a student.

That he wasn’t a wizard and never would have magic of his own.

He hesitated. Even though he was coming to accept himself as a Squib, there was part of him that felt a little pain at needing to give all of this up. He would step out of this world and go back home, never to see Hogwarts again.

“I—”

He stopped. _Home._ He’d thought of Colm’s house as home without even a pause. He’d done it several times already. It came naturally. He had a home, a true home to return to.

And Jesper would come home for the holidays, and someday they’d go to Hogsmeade and Quidditch matches and everything else together.

Happiness welled up inside Wylan, and he smiled. “I’m not sad, Jesper. In fact, I just realized something.”

Jesper looked startled by his sudden exuberance, but a cautious smile spread across his own face. “Yeah?”

“I always used to think there was no place for me because I didn’t fit into either world.” Wylan took a deep breath and thought about the future waiting for them. “But that’s not true at all.”

He was safe at last, and soon he’d be home with Colm to learn how to integrate himself into Muggle society, and then Jesper would come back and show him all the wonderful magic he’d learned.

“It’s not that I don’t belong in either world,” Wylan said, “it’s that I belong to both.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this Wylan/Jesper Harry Potter AU. It's the first time I ever wrote a Harry Potter AU, but I'd never seen the Squib!Wylan idea used before, so once the idea got into my head, I couldn't let go of it.
> 
> I've got a few more Wylan/Jesper story ideas in mind, so stay tuned! :)


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